I found calm

Steady breath

A place where

The quiet feels…

Composed

But what if

I’m in the eye

Of the storm?

What if chaos

Has just settled

Like sand does

Waiting for the heat

To clash with the cold

Inside my brain

What if his screams

What if his anger

What if their words

And their actions

Were created

Inside of me

And what will happen

When the wind

Starts to blow again?

The picture attached was taken by a girlfriend of mine who passed away several years ago. I miss talking to her. She lived with a disease that required many surgeries and always knew it would claim her life early just like it claimed her mother’s life.

Her life seemed so calm despite the chaos that her disease created. I knew her well enough to know that she lived inside a storm she didn’t create. But many of us live inside storms of our own creation.

I sit writing this poem thinking about people and the chaos that whips around them like a hurricane. How much of the drama in my own life was my own doing?

I used to wake up feeling as if my whole body was charged. I felt like a lightening bolt. Constantly worrying that the wrong energy would come near me and…

But it was the storm not me . I became part of the storm but I did not create the storm. I sometimes wonder if I got out of the storm or if I brought part of that storm with me. Will it always be a part of me? I hope not. I barely survived that one.