IF NOT WORDS

    I started writing over a decade ago. Just started this blog one day and started writing. No game plan other than to write. I was tired of trying to drown my thoughts out with music. Tired of trying to explain how torturous my thoughts were to those close to me. Tired of feeling…

GATE TO HELL

My eyes traced the concrete fractures  This is where the dread and unease  Detonate the fear I’ve been hiding Rough edges jagging into erratic lines Deep, dark, wide gaps that if stepped on  Would break your mother’s back  And conjure an army of fiends Of monsters and ogres, of ghosts Cracks that if tread upon…

EMBALMED WITH DESPAIR

It’s the kind of fog that stole my breath Thick and shadowy Dark skulking movements that stuck to my skin. Ominous and dangerous It held the memory of every broken scream I hated this kind of fog And for the longest time It’s the only kind I knew It swallowed the sun leaving me isolated,…

HASTY VERSION 2.0

The electricity flows Through skin and bone Anxiety restless A pacing back and forth How do I look? Examines body Fusses over face How do I sound? Practices hello I’m so happy to meet you Smile and smile again Laugh small Make sure it reaches Your mascara eyes Practice makes perfect Remember People are drawn…

UNSETTLING

It’s a bit unsettling Knowing she’s still A part of me I know how strong And fierce she is Like a glowing ember She is fully awake Just waiting to burn This house I’ve built To protect myself From her brutality *I’d be foolish to believe I’ve beaten depression. She will always be waiting for…

NOT EVERYONE IS HIM

Can inconsistency be a trauma? The way he said he loved me The way his eyes devoured me How his hands moved over me I remember feeling so high Destination cloud nine please He did everything right Made me lemon squares Opened my doors for me Dressed up to take me out “Let’s just drive…

CHEMICAL FEAR

They call it adrenaline But it’s just chemical fear I can taste it on my tongue Feel it speed through veins Like alcohol, thin and sharp It churns in my stomach Makes my nerves radiate And then… I’m a machine I’m not me… I’m a robot Something more innate Wakes up and steps up And…