TRYING

Did I do it right? Am I doing it right? How many times do I ask myself or God this question everyday? My perspective changes. My opinion changes. There is no right or wrong there is only what I did and what I will do. I question my choices hoping to get wiser and smarter…

GROWING ABSENCE

Growing absence. “It’s so much darker when a light goes out than it would have been if it had never shone.” ~John Steinbeck Whether you have lost someone to death, divorce, or just an irreconcilable argument this sentiment holds true if there was ever an ounce of love or light in the relationship. To be…

AT THE BOTTOM OF THE END

There is an edge To my sorrows I dare not trust Like a creaky bridge It sways precariously With each step I take Like a dark tunnel Promising monsters Where the silence Eats your screams Or a high ledge That is crumbling Beneath your feet And I know If I get close enough If I…

YESTERDAY’S ALTER

When finally, finally I had opened my eyes I could feel the spiders scurry from their webs And cockroaches who had thought me dead Scuttled frantically from under my bones I felt like a pile of sawdust waiting for the wind To come along and sweep me into a hurricane Back into the chaos from…

MEASURING GROWTH

Every year, about this time, I start falling hopelessly into a past that nearly killed me. 2011 was the year I turned 40. It was a pretty strange year in that I was a totally different person than I had been previously. I had lost 100 lbs and had made lots of new friends. It’s…

YOU-NESS

You are valuable to me. Without you I’d be less alive. You are my Batman. My Wonder Woman. My supporter. My fire starter. You remind me I am not alone. That possibilities are all around me just waiting for me to engage. You are potential. You are energy. You are my community and my possible…

LIVING IS A CHOICE

Living is a choice Every single time And it’s been awhile Since I imagined death I wanted to know How the water would feel If I breathed it in I’ve heard it hurts But only for a moment And then I wondered If it would matter If it would hurt anyone And I couldn’t imagine…