As much as I’ve read and as much as I’ve dealt with my own situation I’m still shocked at how certain things will trigger me. Each time I’m telling myself to just get over it already. Yes, as a victim I tell myself that. I’m ashamed and infuriated that some things still attack the parts…
I remember the exact moment it felt like everything in my life changed. It was like a strange shift. A falling through floors. As if destiny was reaching out urging me to take its hand. To be honest, that night was blurry as though I wasn’t in my right mind or had too much to…
I started writing over a decade ago. Just started this blog one day and started writing. No game plan other than to write. I was tired of trying to drown my thoughts out with music. Tired of trying to explain how torturous my thoughts were to those close to me. Tired of feeling…
When I was a little girl I remember reading about the Great Depression. Reading the Grapes of Wrath was the first time I’d heard about poverty. Everything I knew about the poor started there. Later I learned that it was Black Monday that kicked off the Great Depression. Men jumped out of windows because the…
She fell away from me Differently from the others I sat watching as pieces Fell apart then together As she struggled earnestly And sometimes gave up Exhausted from the trying She had found and built Something solid finally A plan, a person, a life full So many smiles and laughs So much beauty and love…
My eyes traced the concrete fractures This is where the dread and unease Detonate the fear I’ve been hiding Rough edges jagging into erratic lines Deep, dark, wide gaps that if stepped on Would break your mother’s back And conjure an army of fiends Of monsters and ogres, of ghosts Cracks that if tread upon…
I still pray God give me strength Give me wisdom Give me patience But I never Not once left it at that Because he gave me life A thinking brain A versatile will A moveable body He provided the nails And made me the hammer I’ve always believed That together we’d build A whole life…
It’s the kind of fog that stole my breath Thick and shadowy Dark skulking movements that stuck to my skin. Ominous and dangerous It held the memory of every broken scream I hated this kind of fog And for the longest time It’s the only kind I knew It swallowed the sun leaving me isolated,…
The electricity flows Through skin and bone Anxiety restless A pacing back and forth How do I look? Examines body Fusses over face How do I sound? Practices hello I’m so happy to meet you Smile and smile again Laugh small Make sure it reaches Your mascara eyes Practice makes perfect Remember People are drawn…
It’s a bit unsettling Knowing she’s still A part of me I know how strong And fierce she is Like a glowing ember She is fully awake Just waiting to burn This house I’ve built To protect myself From her brutality *I’d be foolish to believe I’ve beaten depression. She will always be waiting for…
His world shaped itself around me His shoulders Strengthened me His embrace Held my peace His gaze Held my wonder And his lips Whispered My history to bed And sung My future into being His world shaped itself Beautifully into mine.
The snow Dropped quietly Covering Everything Beautiful Majestic But… Someday She whispered Soft and quiet Like the snow Someday The cold will melt The wet will dry And my breath Will float away Without freezing Again… Someday It’s so hard being a mom. Or at least a mom who cares. My girl is nearly 15…
