DEPRESSING EMOTION

I’ve been sober for quite some time. Aug 10, 2014 I woke up knowing I could never drink again. And I haven’t. I think about and can go back into the brain I had. I can feel all the heartsick and pain. All the ways I let the world torture me… how I tortured myself.…

SELF HATE

Sometimes you hate yourself And you think everyone else Should hate you too So you make up reasons And concoct scenarious That prove that it’s true Because if it’s true then You don’t have to focus On why you hate yourself And you can begin To defend yourself From the other person And then maybe…

ALWAYS THE END

Small, thin, malleable Strands of long, skinny wire Twisted and woven Between bone and sinew Positive connecting negative Animation progressing Pieced together leftovers A created strength She walks through Sleeping ghosts Hungry zombies And broken humans Searching for survivors

THE SANDS FALL

Sometimes I can feel it The fading or the leaving The small ways of ending It’s slight and unassuming Just a strange passing And it feels like indifference But it’s tricky that way Because it’s the opposite It’s the fear snaking around It’s the worry and anxiety Whispering so very softly Before the noise buries…

LEFT BEHIND

Sometimes the walls cry Flooded by waterfalls Stones crumble then fly Leaving a pile a mile high Carvings on pieces Blood splatter dialog Rooms left behind Flooded and drained Moldy rotting floors Splinter weak doors Rooms left behind But never forgotten

JURASSIC GRANDMOTHER’S LEFTOVERS

I inherited these genes from a dinosaur A Jurassic holy Grandmother’s leftovers Bile in my veins and worms in my brain Scorched heels and a coat of lazy for days Now my time is wasted in checkout lines Decorated in eye rolls and smirks I got a couple Snickers but they melted From the heat…

URGENT

Life won’t matter once it’s gone so it HAS to matter now. I remember the exact moment it felt like everything in my life changed. It was like a strange shift. A falling through floors. As if destiny was reaching out urging me to take its hand. To be honest, that night was blurry as…

DEPRESSION IS A DJ

Depression is a dj. Not only that but a director and a producer. A writer of lyrics. A master mixer. A brilliant organizer. Depression is a prolific genius. Depression will study quietly in a corner. Sift through every interaction in your life organizing them. And then he lays down tracks. Beats that will bring you…

WHAT FEAR?

Sitting here at lunch toying with the idea of opening an Etsy store. To be completely honest I’m afraid of failure. What if I put myself out there and nothing happens? I used to be more courageous. Like I could do anything ya know? But live long enough and failure becomes a reality. I failed…