I JUST DON’T KNOW

I don’t know what eliminates wrinkles or what food plan works best for what body type. I don’t know how to do math problems in my head, how to use apostrophes correctly, or what the heck a semicolon is for. I can’t tell you where Kentucky is or where most of the other 50 states…

DEPRESSION IS

Depression is like A taped up box Easy to open Packed full of Past experience Past mistakes Come sift through Remember this? You should be ashamed Depression is like A spooky Cabinet With no lock Fragile China feelings Ugly handmade dolls Mascara black eyes You should be embarrassed Depression is like An old jewelry box…

TRYING

Did I do it right? Am I doing it right? How many times do I ask myself or God this question everyday? My perspective changes. My opinion changes. There is no right or wrong there is only what I did and what I will do. I question my choices hoping to get wiser and smarter…

THE PAIN OF PERFECTION

I realized recently much of my anxiety was attached to a feeling that I needed to be perfect. Act perfectly in all things. I know logically there is no such thing. I mean I KNOW that. But I don’t think my heart ever got that message. I must execute plans perfectly. I must do exactly…

YOU WILL BREAK… over and over again

Zumba class used to be my happy place. Several times a week I would walk into this class and I’d forget about all the hard things in my life. Fun music, people sweating and laughing. We literally looked like we had taken a group shower when we were done. It felt so good. The instructor…

CHAOTIC WORRY

I found calm Steady breath A place where The quiet feels… Composed But what if I’m in the eye Of the storm? What if chaos Has just settled Like sand does Waiting for the heat To clash with the cold Inside my brain What if his screams What if his anger What if their words…

THE IN CROWD

I look around at all the people who have made me feel unimportant and the crowd never gets smaller. And it never will. They have taken my smiles and put them in a pocket stuffed with their crumpled up receipts and mostly chewed gum wads. They’ve stolen my words and my deeds and gave them…

STANDING BACK

Sometimes you just have to stand back, take a few big breaths, and refocus on the world around you. I think sometimes everything feels too tight, too set, too closed in. Feelings of being penned into a corner, and like there are only a few choices can be stifling. The world is so big. So…

IT’S A MATTER OF LIFE

I remember the exact moment it felt like everything in my life changed. It was like a strange shift. A falling through floors. As if destiny was reaching out urging me to take its hand. To be honest, that night was blurry as though I wasn’t in my right mind or had too much to…

NICE TRY MR. TUMOR

It was an early December morning and I was hungover. I had far too much to drink the night before for someone who hardly ever drank. I remember walking outside to cool off and sitting in the snow. It seemed a perfectly reasonable thing to do. Little did I know the next morning was going…