Life won’t matter once it’s gone so it HAS to matter now.
I remember the exact moment it felt like everything in my life changed. It was like a strange shift. A falling through floors. As if destiny was reaching out urging me to take its hand. To be honest, that night was blurry as though I wasn’t in my right mind or had too much to drink. But I was sober. And I had the strangest sense of clarity as if what was about to happen was preordained.
I had an opportunity to become different than I was and I grabbed tight as gravity absorbed me into its belly and took me on a crazy ride before spitting me out… bruised and worn.
I’m not really superstitious. I don’t believe things happen for a reason. I believe we find reasons to move us in a direction that feels right. I believe we have the power to create good from bad.
I changed because life demanded it. I sought because my soul was burnt. Instead of standing still I’ve chosen to run forward fast and hard. Because I know a thing or two about loss. I know it hurts. I know it angers. I know it survives the physical passing and evolves very much like an invisible feeling that grows into action.
No matter where my life goes from here I know that such loss and heartbreak will only serve to carry me through the troubles of tomorrow. That I will be more complete in my wisdom because of those I’ve chosen to get to know. That life won’t matter much once it’s gone so it has to matter now because that’s what we have.