TRANSPARENCY

I can’t remember it The hopeless struggle The foul spirited dark Nobody left to see My sight in jeopardy I can hear the speaking Underneath the silence In between the tugs I can feel the pulls Like thread through skin Bloodless brutality I am holding breath I am purging Transparent bodies Curled up inside me…

URGENT

Life won’t matter once it’s gone so it HAS to matter now. I remember the exact moment it felt like everything in my life changed. It was like a strange shift. A falling through floors. As if destiny was reaching out urging me to take its hand. To be honest, that night was blurry as…

WORKING IT ALL OUT

When I was young I was scrappy and brave. I was a tomboy. My knees got bloody from performing dangerous feats on skateboards and bikes. I bit into a smelling salt capsule and survived. I’ve stepped on broken bottles. Cut my toe off. Kid stuff. All my injuries came from my own reckless behavior. I…

DEPRESSION IS A DJ

Depression is a dj. Not only that but a director and a producer. A writer of lyrics. A master mixer. A brilliant organizer. Depression is a prolific genius. Depression will study quietly in a corner. Sift through every interaction in your life organizing them. And then he lays down tracks. Beats that will bring you…

DEPRESSION IS

Depression is like A taped up box Easy to open Packed full of Past experience Past mistakes Come sift through Remember this? You should be ashamed Depression is like A spooky Cabinet With no lock Fragile China feelings Ugly handmade dolls Mascara black eyes You should be embarrassed Depression is like An old jewelry box…

I DIDN’T KNOW

I didn’t know. I didn’t know about calories. About opinions or judgements. I didn’t know about exercise or the difference between carbs and protein. I didn’t know I was going to spend most of my life worrying about those things. I didn’t know boys would break my heart or that I would feel not good…

SOWING MERCY

I dreamed I was on another planet. It was dark with several moons lighting up the sky. I was wearing a summer dress and planting a large garden. I carried the seeds in one large pocket in the front. I was barefoot and the soil was refreshingly soft and cool. I was happy planting these…

WHAT FEAR?

Sitting here at lunch toying with the idea of opening an Etsy store. To be completely honest I’m afraid of failure. What if I put myself out there and nothing happens? I used to be more courageous. Like I could do anything ya know? But live long enough and failure becomes a reality. I failed…

A THING I’D LIKE TO HIDE

My boss has walked in on me more than a few times to catch me ugly cry. He walks in and I smile… as of smiling will distract him from seeing the tears. It’s an automatic reflex. To hide my pain. I don’t cry as often these days. I try hard to take care of…