You know what is annoying?
When someone says they have a problem and the response is “just eat better and exercise”.
I have a headache.
I have depression.
I broke my ankle.
I have arthritis.
I have cancer.
I was born with diabetes.
“Just eat better and exercise.”
Everytime a medical journal posts new findings about a disorder or disease several people say “all you have to do is eat healthy and exercise”.
Look…
I’m not the best at eating healthy and exercising but I try. It’s a balance and I’ve under done it and over done it in cycles. I’m still trying to figure it out.
I do absolutely think it’s important. And we are all different so what’s healthy for one isn’t healthy for everyone. We should each figure our bodies out and care enough to do what’s best for it. Therefore, there is no JUST eat healthy and exercise.
For years I went to the doctor complaining that part of my right leg was falling asleep. It just felt weird. 4 doctors with varying expertise basically said lose weight and it’ll go away. It took falling on ice and thinking I had a concussion to find out I had a brain tumor.
Healthy and fit people get sick and sometimes they die from disease. Thank goodness for doctors and medicine and education and science and faith and music and…
Sigh…
I guess this is a rant. It’s on my mind. I guess I feel like people who say “just eat better and exercise” are as bad as those who say “ all you have to do is pray hard enough”.
I’m over it. It’s just another way people have gotten into the habit of dismissing other people and their concerns.
HASTYWORDS 
I just lost my husband of 50 years while in the hospital for a bed sore. Right. A bed sore. He was IN the hospital for 10 days BEFORE he suddenly tested positive for Covid. Then they isolated an elderly man with dementia for 18 more days. At first, I could talk to him on the phone, then one day he stopped talking. Every single day I talked to a different nurse, begging for the doctor to call me so that I could explain that whatever was happening wasn’t HIS normal. No Covoid symptoms. Ever. Then one night as 12:30 AM, I get a call asking if I want him intubated and kept alive. Are you kidding me? Late Saturday night they were going to take him to ICU (After 4 days of my telling everybody who would listen that something was very, very wrong). On Sunday, at about 1:30 PM they finally brought him to ICU where he crashed. Again they were asking if I wanted him resuscitated and again, I said of course. Fifteen minutes later they called to say he died. His invisible doctor called to tell me he did ‘all he could do’. Bull Shit. If only ONE person had listened to me they might have caught whatever it was that killed him early enough to have accomplished something. Or even if they had the same nurse 2 days in a row to notice differences in the patient.
I’m sorry this turned into a ramble/rant, but every time I pointed out something new, I was told he was ‘confused’ due to the dementia. So diet and exercise don’t accomplish anything if you don’t listen to the actual complaint. Got to admit, I’ve got anger and bitterness issues here, and suddenly nurses & doctors don’t seem to be the heroes they’re shown to be on t.v. At least at this particular hospital. A bed sore. G-D Almighty.
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You are welcome to vent here and my heart hurts for your situation. It’s so frustrating when you can’t get anyone to listen. And for all the amazing doctors I know and appreciate there are many others who aren’t as amazing (bad day, overwhelmed, in over their head, or maybe just jerks).
And now In the era of Covid we have no choice but to put our trust in doctors who may or may not be making the best decisions for our loved ones. It’s a mistake to think they can do no wrong because they are only human. I am so very sorry you lost your husband. So devastating.
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I have gained so much weight since my brain injury. I also gained so much after I broke my back but I was able to lose it and get fit again. The difference is now I eat pretty healthy and I try but now I am over 40 and I have a brain injury and my body is all out of wack. I track my food and exercise and am seeing a dietician to help me, but if people just tell me to eat batter and lose weight I want to punch them. So much more too it just like you said. I exercise more than most “normal” people and I eat better too! Cannot Judge a book by a cover and just use a line that does not work for everyone at all.
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Exactly. Sounds like you are looking for a balance that works for you despite all the crap things that have happened. Inspiring.
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The dietician has been a game changer, haven’t gained a pound since working with her and working on eating right to nourish my body and brain:)
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It’s really good when you can find one that works with you. Eating well and working out is so good for us short and long term.
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Exactly and not everyone is good and so many claim to be nutrition health coaches and such but have no idea. Registered dietician and lots of researching one you find can help:) Best part is insurance now covers it under preventive which is amazing so didn’t have to meet my deductible before they paid:) about time insurance see it as preventative like it is:)
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You’re so right that telling someone to just eat better and exercise when they are dealing with a serious medical or mental health issue is way of dismissing the problem and not engaging with what is really going on with the person. But, there’s more to it. It also blames the person for the problem. That, though implied rather than said, is more hurtful.
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Yes I very much agree with you.
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Reblogged this on cabbagesandkings524 and commented:
HASTY – When seemingly good advice misses the mark.
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And this is why I not only go to the doctor and take medicine, but have learned how to heal things through a process of inner healing work. Telling someone to lose weight and exercise is fucking lazy diagnostics to my mind. After years of yo-yo dieting I finally went to a hypnotherapist. Know what I found out? When I was a toddler and my mother would verbally assault me, eating dulled the extreme emotional pain. It dulled the pain enough that I could literally survive. If I hadn’t found something to dull the emotional pain of my mother going off on me, I wouldn’t have survived. For me, it set up a lifetime of issues with food, but I’ve made progress by doing what I call “inner work”. No medical doctor would be able to diagnose this because it’s not in their training and because I couldn’t remember the first dozen years of my life. No wonder why. When you live with abuse/trauma and you’re a very sensitive person, blocking out memory is a fantastic coping tool. I remember Mom going off on me when I was a teenager, but didn’t realize it went back to when I was practically a toddler. And people who tell you to “just pray on it” are equally ignorant. Do I know how to “pray” in a way that actually creates healing? Yes. But it’s not that simple. Not by a long shot.
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Great example of how complicated our mind/body relationship can be. I’m so glad you figured out some important things and that you didn’t give up on yourself.
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Thanks. And like everyone, I’m still working on it. Love your writing.
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I am with you on this.
One Hundred Percent
Great post.
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I can agree with you so much on this and I get the same type of reaction with my mental health. A friend did it this morning told me I was salty and I needed to cheer up and just let my depression and anxiety go as if it were that simple.
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Happens so so much with mental health 😦
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I have had better experience with nurse practitioners than doctors. They take the time to listen and actually give good advice. Yes many problems can be solved by loosing weight and exercising, but certainly not all. Tests should be done etc. to rule things out.
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