BLUE SKIES

I’m depressed today. It feels cold…maybe because of the rain but maybe not. Maybe it’s just because we have a lot more to worry about. If we don’t manage our worries and anxiety it’ll cause depression. At a time when so many are facing economic uncertainty, health worries, and possible life and death decisions I…

IGNORANCE IS DANGEROUS

As much as I’ve read and as much as I’ve dealt with my own situation I’m still shocked at how certain things will trigger me. Each time I’m telling myself to just get over it already. Yes, as a victim I tell myself that. I’m ashamed and infuriated that some things still attack the parts…

IT’S A MATTER OF LIFE

I remember the exact moment it felt like everything in my life changed. It was like a strange shift. A falling through floors. As if destiny was reaching out urging me to take its hand. To be honest, that night was blurry as though I wasn’t in my right mind or had too much to…

IF NOT WORDS

    I started writing over a decade ago. Just started this blog one day and started writing. No game plan other than to write. I was tired of trying to drown my thoughts out with music. Tired of trying to explain how torturous my thoughts were to those close to me. Tired of feeling…

DANGEROUS FALSE NARRATIVES

When I was a little girl I remember reading about the Great Depression. Reading the Grapes of Wrath was the first time I’d heard about poverty. Everything I knew about the poor started there. Later I learned that it was Black Monday that kicked off the Great Depression. Men jumped out of windows because the…

IT’S DARK IN HERE

I’d never been afraid of the hallway. The echoes it carried. The voices. The feet. The light that zigzagged across the floor. That landed on the walls. That rained from the ceiling. It’s always been there to welcome and carry me from one room to the next. And there were always countless rooms. So many…

DEFYING GRAVITY

I fell from the sky once. I remember how the air refused to hold me. How fantastic it was that I was defying gravity one push at a time. My heart was soaring along with all my limbs. I was laughing. I was so happy. And then the rope broke. It broke just as I…

NICE TRY MR. TUMOR

It was an early December morning and I was hungover. I had far too much to drink the night before for someone who hardly ever drank. I remember walking outside to cool off and sitting in the snow. It seemed a perfectly reasonable thing to do. Little did I know the next morning was going…

RECOGNIZING RACISM REQUIRES US TO SEE IN COLOR

I’ve heard people say “I am colorblind” when the topic of racism arises. I know what they mean to say… “they” meaning white people like me… mean to say they love all races equally. I may have even said it before myself. But I’ve come to understand why it’s not helpful. Furthermore, why the concept…

EMOTIONALLY HOMELESS

There are people who build cities on top of volcanic fields. And they live there. People build lives in desperate towns. And they die there. People grow up in fast cities and slow farm towns and simply exist there. Such a big world to live in… Are you HOME where you are? I’ve always had…