BLACKOUT

I used to blackout when I drank.  Not always but quite often.  Blackout doesn’t mean you act any differently than your inebriated self would act.  It just means you won’t remember what you did, what you said, or where you went.  Your memory was too drunk to record.  Therefore, no memory.

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Swimming motion
Blurs the colors
And the context
Of our meeting
Help me forward
Too much spinning
Stuffed emotions
Falling backward
Like a locomotion
Out of order
Lying on the floor
Waiting for that
Ferocious explosion
Of awkward disorder
To fight its way
Into the void
Where solutions melt
And can’t be bothered
Just leave me alone
So I can lie here broken
Inside my silenced chaos

7 thoughts on “BLACKOUT

    • I’ve been sober for more than 4 years. My first blackout came after a 5k run and I was dehydrated. After that It happened more frequently. It is possible my liver was compromised. I am so happy I am sober.

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  1. I once had some people tell me I had blacked out and did the lampshade on the head thing. Actually, it was only later that I realized I had only passed out. The clue was, there was no lampshade. Still, it was a wake up call at least to not drink when I was already sleep deprived. I never drank enough often enough to develop any significant tolerance, so it never took much and I did learn I tended to be less conscious of how much in social anxiety inducing situations, and not to let anybody keep topping off my wine glass.

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  2. I’ve only been that inebriated once in my life. It was back in college and it was scary. Today, I’m recovering and not drinking everyday and so, i have a high degree of tolerance. Great poem though.

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