YESTERDAY’S ALTER

When finally, finally I had opened my eyes I could feel the spiders scurry from their webs And cockroaches who had thought me dead Scuttled frantically from under my bones I felt like a pile of sawdust waiting for the wind To come along and sweep me into a hurricane Back into the chaos from…

WE ARE GOLD

So often I think about how connected we should all be. Not like the The Borg in Star Trek with it’s hive mind or anything but maybe more like a hive soul. It feels like when we let one child down we are letting all of humanity down. When we turn away a person in…

NOT SILENT

Silence has a sound If you listen Does it sound like peace Quiet breathing Content thoughts Kind memories Your own heartbeat Or is it loud Electrical humming Chaos echoing A chorus of voices That sound like you? Berating you? Scolding you? Questioning you? And then answering you? Internal silence doesn’t exist And sometimes it asks…

YET AGAIN

It’s a fight. Sometimes I freeze Watch the storm come Glued to my spot I know what it brings I know it’s bigger I know it’s stronger I know it’s dark And menacing And that I should run I know too It was inevitable That it would Come back for me And yet I’m frozen…

FREEWILL DESTINY

Maybe it’s destinyThat gently leadsUs into the futureWith invisible handsMore like tentaclesNudging us forwardPulling us backWhen we misstepPunishing usUntil we get it rightMaybe it’s destinyThat covers usUnder blanketsSo dark we can’t seeSqueezing usUntil we can’t breatheCausing us to begFor mercyJust a tiny reprieveFrom the voidIt tortures us withSucking from usPathetic promisesIt knows we won’t keepJust…

IN A ROOM

I forget how depression feels sometimes.  That’s dangerous.  To forget isn’t an option.  I have to remind myself how sneaky and insidious it is.  I must remember what it felt like to be its prisoner.  Depression as a room and me held captive against my will.  I am so grateful to have escaped this room……

PICKY

Kids can be super picky eaters. Mine was no exception. She’s grateful though because she knows we live in a land of plenty. Even if she doesn’t love it she learned early to say thank you. And she actually LOVES Brussels. It’s the way her nose scrunches up When she doesn’t like the menu How…

THE UNFORESEEN

The view forward is open Not a skinny narrow way But a wide open world So many paths, a maze So I let all the hope in And I pick the perfect day Feeling the horizon pull Absorbing the path, I gaze I stick up my stubborn chin “This is my choice” I say Maybe…

FINDING HAPPY

Sometimes the road parts And there is nothing there for you One takes you up the other down And neither one leads to happy Nothing but trouble and worry So do you stay? Do you stand still? Keep what you have and wait? Or do you head off road… off map Find that happy you…