I’ve been sober for quite some time. Aug 10, 2014 I woke up knowing I could never drink again. And I haven’t. I think about and can go back into the brain I had. I can feel all the heartsick and pain. All the ways I let the world torture me… how I tortured myself.…
Sometimes you hate yourself And you think everyone else Should hate you too So you make up reasons And concoct scenarious That prove that it’s true Because if it’s true then You don’t have to focus On why you hate yourself And you can begin To defend yourself From the other person And then maybe…
Life is unpredictable. If we know anything it’s that. We don’t get to decide who we are born to, where we are born, or what abilities or disabilities we might have. We are all born into an unsolvable puzzle. A maze with walls that move, windows that won’t budge, fences made with wire, wood, stone,…
Sometimes the walls cry Flooded by waterfalls Stones crumble then fly Leaving a pile a mile high Carvings on pieces Blood splatter dialog Rooms left behind Flooded and drained Moldy rotting floors Splinter weak doors Rooms left behind But never forgotten
A cavalcade of horrors Abominable explorers March around the face Barely keeping pace Ticks marking seconds As the past steadily beckons Hands running retrograde The harvester already paid Searching all the memories For every infernal enemy Be careful what you chose To reverse, repeat, rewind You have only everything to lose
I love music. But I have to be careful with it. If I listen to sad music all day I’ll become sad. Angry music I’ll become angry. So why not always listen to happy music? Because you need balance. If you aren’t happy it could help or it could make you feel even more alone.…
You’ve been seen as broken and vulnerable As a burden, as emotional, as unreliable As irrational, as unstable, as crazy And all have been true… sometimes But more often than not And I mean far more often You’ve been none of those things People don’t see context They don’t care about situation They see you…
There were olives in a bowl Crickets outside the window The dishwasher was washing And my mind was ticking To do lists making demands Run on sentences colliding Memories interrogated Negotiating times and places Thoughts flipping like pancakes And emotions like cheese whiz Melting under a big orange sun I’m hungry and I’m tired And…
I stepped away from the edge I’d crept up to it for years Wanting to jump or fly or vanish I stopped wanting that at some point But I still stood there… just in case Sometimes the wind blows really hard And I fear that wind How it might do me in And if it…
I inherited these genes from a dinosaur A Jurassic holy Grandmother’s leftovers Bile in my veins and worms in my brain Scorched heels and a coat of lazy for days Now my time is wasted in checkout lines Decorated in eye rolls and smirks I got a couple Snickers but they melted From the heat…
