DIRTY ROOTS

Tangled up with roots That no longer hunger Soaking up rust Can’t hold on much longer Heavy and weary The oppression stronger Stuck in the mud Nothing to do but slumber Hold me down so I can’t breath To waste away in my mental bunker

SEEING ME

I took a picture Sent it to my boyfriend My first thought was I look familiar Like Jigsaw Weird cheeks Big lips Strange… Full stop You look like a person Like someone loved Who also loves You look like a mom Like a girlfriend A daughter, A friend You look like the lady Who puts…

DELUDED

It’s strange to me Looking back now At the way I was I felt confident Shimmery Or like A disco ball Breathing colors On every surface I felt magical Like a unicorn With pretty clothes And glittery makeup Totally deluded By my own Optical illusions

UNINVITED

It starts small A turned knob An open door Well hello Old friend How have you been? A memory stirs With a wicked hand A light goes out You’ve closed the door But it doesn’t matter You’re not alone The whispering starts And the tears come Because you know Depression Always uninvited Tends to overstay

I DON’T MISS YOU

So many things I miss about you Your energy was always so high You loved movement, dancing You were a literal musical Everything you did was intense A grand white whirlwind Sucking everyone up But then…. You’d spit them out The thing about whirlwinds Is that they can become tornados Leaving devastation behind And I…

DEPRESSING EMOTION

I’ve been sober for quite some time. Aug 10, 2014 I woke up knowing I could never drink again. And I haven’t. I think about and can go back into the brain I had. I can feel all the heartsick and pain. All the ways I let the world torture me… how I tortured myself.…

SELF HATE

Sometimes you hate yourself And you think everyone else Should hate you too So you make up reasons And concoct scenarious That prove that it’s true Because if it’s true then You don’t have to focus On why you hate yourself And you can begin To defend yourself From the other person And then maybe…

UNPREDICTABLE

Life is unpredictable. If we know anything it’s that. We don’t get to decide who we are born to, where we are born, or what abilities or disabilities we might have. We are all born into an unsolvable puzzle. A maze with walls that move, windows that won’t budge, fences made with wire, wood, stone,…

LEFT BEHIND

Sometimes the walls cry Flooded by waterfalls Stones crumble then fly Leaving a pile a mile high Carvings on pieces Blood splatter dialog Rooms left behind Flooded and drained Moldy rotting floors Splinter weak doors Rooms left behind But never forgotten