The ending to the story….
This post will be short and to the point because I don’t want to linger with these thoughts much longer. I know I have to concentrate on me. I worry now about the worry I have placed on my friends and family…added stress and anxiety. But this is honesty…it feels weak and I don’t like how it tastes. I can see, now that I have opened my eyes again, that these feelings are definitely NOT ok. What these feelings do to those I love is NOT ok. These revelations were slow to be realized and owned up to.
You see, I have an image to uphold. I don’t really but in my mind I do. I was the strong one the one who takes a challenge and succeeds. I have finally realized I can’t keep pretending…the feelings that have been leaking out in different forms over the last year or so have become a hemorrhage. They have been slowly tearing down my marriage and my most cherished friendships. I can control the damage…I can finally admit I am not capable of dealing with everything. I am not invincible…dang it.
At this point I can’t worry about how people I know will react to this story. I can only hope this story serves some sort of purpose. This really isn’t the ending to my story. This story is the beginning of a new story I will fight to write positively. Since writing and posting this story I have laid the groundwork for support I know will help me succeed. I would normally end a post with some sort of poetry but instead I will say thank you to my husband, my family, and my friends for supporting me. Even when I can’t see my blessings you are my eyes when I am blind.
HASTYWORDS 
Good luck baby, I will always be here if needed.
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Good luck!!
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Good luck
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Hi, I’ve just read those 6 posts and a few before them. It is very difficult for me and I assume also for your friends to know what to say, other than “I’m so sorry you are feeling this way.” I noticed you said that you usually help others, and so I think it might help you to address to yourself the words you say or write to others. If you always appear strong, people don’t see the need to help you, so what you have done is a really good first step. Sending you a big hug,
Fiona
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You’re very welcome.
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The biggest super-power is knowing that you are human. Knowing that with the strong comes the weak. That after the dark there is light. You are on the right path….
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I don’t know you in real life, but I can relate. I”m gonna tell you what gets me through the dark parts. Jesus. Period. Sometimes your friends won’t be there or know how to help you. I suppose I sound trite and maybe I’ll offend some. But girl, you’re worth fighting for. Don’t give up!
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Sometimes we must see the bottom, almost touch it, to understand something important. Good luck on your way to better days.
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There’s cats in the coffee , mice in the tea , Hurrah for Alice thirty times three . She did make it home in the end . It’s always a crazy ride getting there ……..
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haha I love this!!!!
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I’ve been taking a longer look at your writing and enjoying it . Thanks
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I love surprises , Your welcome !
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you are so very worth it, friend. know that they are as blessed as you. truly.
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I think you tell a lot of people’s stories with your words, and you tell it well even when it is difficult to do so.
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those pictures are amazingly hypnotic. how are you not an eye or face model?
i know that has nothing to do with your post, but i can’t not say it. write it. type it. whatever.
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Wow! Well…as a newcomer, I suddenly feel ashamed for blogging anonymously, but I’m not there yet. Kudos (and more) to your courage.
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Thank you … Not sure if it is courageous or not but I will pretend it is! 🙂
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