I was raised by my dad to believe I was strong.  That I could do anything I put my mind to.  And I believed him.  When it came to work ethic and morality I was as strong as most.  Put a goal in front of me and I would smash it to pieces.  But… when it came to the opposite sex I was fairly clueless as to what strong looked like.

I believed it was like a job.  I am to make the man happy.  Do whatever it is they like.  Follow their lead.  I worked hard to look and act as expected.  I mean that’s how it’s supposed to be right?  Our typical marriage vows encourage that.  Even the bible speaks of our submission. Now that I am older and wiser I see how those verses are misunderstood and taken out of context.

I am not blaming the opposite sex for the culture we live in now.  We are a product of history.  I don’t want to be complacent in my role as a woman.  We can’t change history but we can make sure history looks different for our children.

Men and women are both guilty of  putting women through hell.  As a gender we judge, brutalize, scold, demean and quite often neglect our fellow sisters.  It’s no wonder why so many feel alone.

Many of us are having to learn to fight for ourselves.  Especially us women.  I am proud of us because we are making progress.  We are learning to use our voices.  We are learning to stop listening to those who need us to feel worthless or weak.

I guess for my own submission for this Strong Independent Women series I wanted to encourage women to take a look at themselves and those around them.  Dig deep and find the strength you were born with and dust it off.  Give it new life.  Learn to fight for yourself.

It’s not easy but you can do it.

Some of us have already come through hell.  Look around and find us. We can help.



  1. This quote popped to mind. There is a basic truth in it that applies beyond therapy to how real change, personal or social happens, one well expressed in this post as well.

    “People do not come into therapy to change their past but their future.”
    Milton H. Erickson

    Strong women are changing the future.

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