My #BeReal guest today is Peter M. Olsen.



We all wear masks.

Some are subtle. Some are hidden.

Mine couldn’t be more obvious.
Long hair, 20 pounds overweight, scruffy beard.
The mask I wear is made from self-hatred and depression and scars.

My mask tells me that I am ugly…So very fucking ugly.
My mask helps me to feel numb…I feel so very fucking numb.
My mask says to other people I meet that I’m un-loveable, invisible, and so very alone.

So sad to say I like it.
I’m comfortable behind my mask.
This poor, ugly, lonely mask of woe.
It conveniently hides the true me.

My self-esteem. My self-confidence. My self-worth.

I reach out to it and it’s not there.
Like sand slipping through my fingertips.
It escapes and runs away.
Runs away and hides.
“Come find me” it beckons.

No one’s here right now.
Leave your name and number after the beep.
And Peter will return your call as soon as he takes off his fucking mask.

I hide behind my mask.
Hiding my true self behind this mask.
Hiding from all of you.

Can’t you see me?
Can’t you see me behind my mask?
Can’t you see any part of the real me behind my mask?


Is anyone there?
Does anyone fucking care?
Can anyone help me?


We all wear masks.
Please fucking help me take off this mask.

unnamedPeter M. Olsen is a blogger and a mental health advocate dedicated to helping people living with mental illness. In his free time, Peter is a loyal Xbox 360 addict, an unapologetic coffee snob, a PLUR warrior, and all-around pretty cool guy. Trance and house music keeps Peter very, very happy. Peter lives in the greatest city on Planet Earth. The Emerald City…Seattle, Washington

Twitter and Instagram: @banishedcougar
Web: https://razorcast.net

6 thoughts on “#BeReal – PETER M. OLSEN

  1. Good grief but I feel as though I know this mask so well (though mine is beard-free (thankfully!)) and I think the only way we get to take them off is by finding people who somehow love us as we are…people who choose us, who don’t owe us anything. I hope you find those people. Bravo for sharing your Real 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Pingback: #BeReal – PETER M. OLSEN | razorcast.net

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