My #BeReal guest today is Lisa Douthit.
Another gem of a person sent our way by Rachel Thompson. Lisa brings us Inspiration from a powerful place; inner strength. Please visit some of her other blog posts in addition to this submission.
STRESS ISN’T KILLING YOU BUT THIS IS
ARE YOU EATING TO SAVE YOUR LIFE? HINT: MAYBE YOU SHOULD!
FIGHTING FOR LIFE IN FABULOUS SHOES
Being real means going with the flow while trying not to fall out of the boat. – Lisa Douthit
To truly expose the real me, it may be easier to explain who I am not.
I am not a medical statistic.
Oh, sure, I have spent much of my adult life sitting in sterile rooms, talking about probabilities and survival rates, but a patient is NOT who I am. If any of those blank faces in lab coats were to look up from my chart, they would see an outwardly calm, inwardly terrified woman who also happens to be a mom that needs to get home for carpool. And please don’t call me an “interesting case”. I may be interesting, but that has nothing to do with disease. Sure, lots of things have gone wrong with me physically, but I’m not the sum of my parts (the ones I have left anyway). The weird thing is that sometimes it feels like the more things get removed, the more the space there is for my soul to expand. But for the record, I’m keeping the rest of my organs, thanks.
I’m also NOT a figure on the liability side of an insurance company’s balance sheet (well, maybe I am a little, but don’t treat me that way, regardless). Repeatedly canceling my life-saving medication because it is too expensive only makes me stronger in my fight for survival. Those judging me as “not cost-effective” have made me more tenacious, and my voice more powerful as a result.
Finally, stop telling me I’m sick. I will never be defined by disease. Illness is something I am going through, it is NOT who I am. I thank you for your concern, but can’t we talk about anything else? I don’t need your pity either; I’m far from pitiful. I may be weaker physically at times, but the strength of my spirit will never diminish because of some stupid diagnosis. In reality, I’ve become more of who I’m supposed to be because of my health.
If I had the opportunity to learn and grow through illness again would I shout, “One more round” at a Karmic Happy Hour? Hell, no. But we are given our lessons a specific way for a reason, and I intend to make the most of mine, while being the most authentic me in the process.
What does Being Real mean to you?
Sharing my journey, in all its glory, is about as real as it gets. It means being brutally honest with myself and others. When you have a chronic illness, you have great days, and days that really suck, physically and emotionally. All are just a moment in time and part of the ride. Being real means going with the flow while trying not to fall out of the boat. It also means never losing my sense of humor in this messy process. Real is taking life by the balls and having some fun with it. Even if the fun meter is so low it includes making sculptures with the blended cheeseburger and potato salad the hospital is serving for lunch (yes, blending whole meals is actually a thing and every bit as gross as it sounds).
How do you think people see you when they only have an image to go by?
I think people are confused. If you look at my medical notes and labs, you would think I had one foot in the grave. Then I come running in the room in tennis shoes because I just came from the gym. I hear, “You don’t look sick” a lot. I’ve actually been sent for a psych evaluation because one doctor thought I was making symptoms up … seriously? Then there are days that I’m so weak I can barely walk and my speech is slurred. People wonder if I’ve been drinking. They don’t understand the unpronounceable autoimmune disease I have. Why should they, I don’t really get it myself. Invisible diseases are tricky because every day can be different, and there isn’t much rhythm. Even today I had to run my errands early and then cut my cardio short because my nurse is waiting to hook me up for a five-hour IV. Like I said, very confusing.
And what do you think people are most surprised to discover about you?
I am not at all invested in my health issues. That doesn’t mean I don’t take great care of myself. I have a clean diet, I exercise as much as I can, I meditate and all that fun stuff, but I don’t think much or talk about the four cancers and two autoimmune diseases I have had unless there is a specific reason for it. Some love illness as a topic of conversation; I find it kind of boring—especially if it’s mine.
Come hang out with me!
Website: https://wellnesswarrioronline.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/wellnesswarrioronline/
Twitter: https://www.lisadouthitww
Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/lisadouthitww/
“would I shout, “One more round” at a Karmic Happy Hour? Hell, no.” I love that. I think part of being real is understanding the lot that we’ve been given and deciding how we’re going to deal with it. Looks like you are doing the best you can within your extraordinary circumstances and not letting it define you.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks Punkin! I think we all do the best with what we got! Come on over and like my page if you want more crazy introspection https://www.facebook.com/wellnesswarrioronline/
LikeLike
Great post. I am not my disabilities either. I am not just a blind woman, but that is highly visible. I am also not my invisible illnesses, but sometimes it feels that way. Glad I am not alone in the fight.
LikeLiked by 1 person
You are never alone Sunshine! I would love for you to come to my closed Facebook group and hang with our people. You are a warrior too !https://www.facebook.com/groups/WWarriortribe/
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you.
🙂
For the invitation.
LikeLike
Big fan of BadRedHeadMedia! Thanks for sharing! Really enjoying what I get to read here
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks for reading Sean J! If you want to stop by my facebook page https://www.facebook.com/wellnesswarrioronline/ there is more where this came from.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Lisa, this is a brilliant, wonderful post, and THANK YOU for it. I so appreciate the insight. I have a very dear friend who is in a similar ball-park, medically speaking, and to hear an objective voice iterating good ways I can approach the medical nightmare that is her world, is so helpful. Thank you. I think I sometimes rather bug her, and it’s great to hear your perspective – I suspect she might well be as blunt with me if she found it necessary, but it’s nice not to get to that stage.
Thank you, and I wish you all the very best with your ongoing regime of treatments. Keep on warrioring 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks Punkin! I highly doubt you are ever bugging your friend. Just being there means the world to all of us. If you think she is open to it, would love for her to join my closed FaceBook group for all us sickies that need a little extra kick from those that get it. https://www.facebook.com/groups/WWarriortribe/ Just a little inspiration can go a long way. You keep warrioring too!
LikeLike
I can certainly make her the offer. thank you 🙂
LikeLike