I really can’t even believe I am writing this post…
My heart hurts every time I see someone end their life because they feel shame. Young girls and probably boys who trust too easily and crave love and attention are caving to the peer pressure to send boobies… or more. Today, no matter how much you tell your children not to ever send naked pictures online the threat they will trust someone they “love” is great.
I am not talking about the young children sending adults nasty pictures (SICK BASTARDS EVERYWHERE) but about our high school aged kids who are exchanging pictures of their privates online as a form of foreplay. I know… UGH
We can list a million reasons why this form of foreplay is a HUGELY bad idea but it won’t stop it from happening, because in the moment they want the positive attention. Positive attention and accolades are extremely powerful and the more insecure a girl/boy is the more likely they will give a little just for the positive words they will receive. But then the fallout…
It is the fallout that concerns me the most. A teen brags to his/her friend and forwards the pic and before they know it the whole freaking WORLD has seen their (fill in the blank). Let the shaming begin.
Actually back up. It isn’t just teens. Basically, no matter what age a person is, and let’s be honest nearly EVERY adult I know has sent a nude to someone, this post remains relevant. If you haven’t I truly applaud you. There are some really amazing people who have a descent amount of self dignity and self worth who have participated in this type of foreplay. For better or worse this is where society is. I for one am not in a position to judge anyone.
I am not condoning or condemning this behavior, but I can say that had I had access to social media when I was a teenager I am pretty sure my emotional issues could have been much worse. Now that I am an adult it isn’t much easier, in fact, my blogging SisterWives have seen more of me than they probably signed on for.
Here is my point. I almost forgot I had a point.
Nudity is not shameful. Too many wonderfully beautiful people are killing themselves because they trusted someone and ended up being exposed. Naked body parts are not shameful albeit they should probably be kept private, because we can’t trust the human on the other end… wait….
Why can’t we trust humans online?
Well besides all the ways social media is monitored and how easy it is to accidentally post things online (yeah I had a twitter mishap once…but I survived). Despite the fact that devices get stolen, borrowed, or hacked. There is another reason our pictures aren’t private: we can’t TRUST anyone.
Isn’t that the real shame?
So whether it’s teenagers or adults exchanging picturesque love letters, next time a friend forwards you a picture of a mutual friend, an ex, a wife, a husband, a boyfriend, a one nightstand, or an online persona…. tell them NO THANK YOU! Tell them they should be ashamed of themselves.
I know, I know naked bodies are fun to look at but seriously…
We should probably afford this same respect to those strangers who DM their privates on twitter to everyone on their follow list -even though, let’s face it, they are advertising not falling in love. I have been guilty of letting someone quickly glance at my phone at these random and anonymous twitter packages because well some things really are impressive. But really it shouldn’t ever happen whether identity is an issue or not.
Whether the person who sent the picture cares if you forward it or not…that should be their own discretion not yours. Most of the time the pictures are shared within a circle of trust but at some point someone is going to get hurt.
I just really think lives could be spared if we were to stop shaming the naked people and start shaming the people who carelessly throw that person’s trust away.
Shame on you
For the hurt you caused behind her back
Sharing things
Not yours to share, betraying her trust
Showing details
In full color of her sacred lines and curves
Shaming her
To inflate your fucking egotistical ass
She may
Never ever know you exposed her privacy
Shredding her
Reputation and abusing her insecurities
She may
Have exercised poor judgment, BUT you
Should be
Ashamed and called out for being a dick
I wish the world were different. In memory of all those who are made to feel shame.
HASTYWORDS 
Incredibly, incredibly powerful piece. And yes – the true shame is the lack of being able to trust other people, as well as culture which propagates the idea that we need to be idolized physically in order to be worthwhile.
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Yea! I can’t agree more. Blogging has opened my eyes to some things in this world, things where I was probably naive. Being on Social Media such as twitter (see this a lot there) just sometimes throws things in your face you just did not want to see. More specifically I’m thinking of “revenge porn” here, something I’m planing on writing an blog post on within the next few weeks. There are even websites focusing on that kind of thing, and people tweeting that kind of stuff and laughing about it.
Well said dude was never un-followed so quickly. Seriously! WTF! (sorry for the swearing but that is me expressing my shock mildly)
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Yeah. Important message – not just men – I know women my age who have used this to hurt someone and continue to say it was justified. Blech. Thank you for saying it.
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Hasty. Do you actually know someone who took her own life?
I work with teenagers. I beg them not to exchange pictures. I don’t think they’re mature enough to handle the emotional fallout.
I hope this isn’t about someone you know.
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No I just got triggered today and needed to spit this out.
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My daughter is only 12, and I am already having this conversation with her ALL THE TIME. We call them “privates” for a reason. People will promise to keep your secret. People lie. Awesome post!! I’m showing this to my girl:)
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It is a hard balance to achieve to explain why they should keep themselves covered up while at the same time telling them there is nothing to be ashamed about, I told my daughter at the end of the day if the worst thing you do during your teenage years the worst thing you do is flash your boobs whether on purpose or accidentally (she was rather well endowed in that department from a young age) then you will have done well. But it really annoys me that it is constantly the girls we are having a go at, why the hell aren’t more parents teaching their son’s how to respect women and have higher standards for themselves.
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I feel the same way hun. Huggles. I’m back to being triggered as well. I hate how people are not trustworthy. I wish that there was a person to just pour everythng out to, and know that it will not go beyond them.
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Good post… I have actually never shared a nude electronically… I guess that makes me old…
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No just smart
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No way
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Powerful. Touching. Aggressive.Eye-opener.
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Great post! And shame, too, on so many parents who, out of conservative sex-fear, or “not my kid” naivete, or whatever haven’t sat down with their children and said, “not this, not ever, no matter how much you trust.” I have friends who avoid subject matter that is difficult for them to talk about because they’re afraid just mentioning it will give their kid ideas–I’ve always opted to make my kids uncomfortable with my forthrightness (much to their occasional horror). It breaks my heart to hear these stories about some jackass kid hurting some other kid, especially when they both should have known enough to resist temptation, opportunity, and peer pressure.
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