Do you ever read something you wish you had written? Something that stops your heart but then makes sure to restart it before it’s finished?
I met Mandi very briefly not too long ago and she not only does that with her writing but she does it with her presence too. She is beautiful, the kind that takes your breath away because you can’t remember seeing that kind of kindness in anyone’s eyes before.
When I read this post I felt it and I cried. I cried for me, I cried for her, I cried for every single woman who feels like this. I cried for all the men in their lives who find out too late that they had sunshine and they traded it for a moon that will never warm them the way the sun can.
I love you Mandi…
You are definitely sunshine!
Ain’t No Sunshine by Mandi
There was a time when she knew that she was his sun. She rose in the East and set in the West and lit up his life. When she entered the room, his world brightened with her rays. When she left, the world grew darker.
She made him laugh. He thought she was the smartest, funniest, most beautiful person on Earth, and she soared through the sky floating on that soft cloud where he held her. High above the rest. Nothing could stop them. They had each other, and that was enough.
But life happens. Jobs and kids and deaths and sicknesses and life interrupts, and the smile fades from his face.
No longer does he laugh at her little comments.
His world doesn’t begin and end with her.
Sometimes she wonders if he notices her at all.
She tries, over and over. She tries to spark that flame that once burned so bright between them. She takes the world and places it on her shoulders and does all that she can to make his life easier, to lessen his load, to bring him back.
But she is invisible.
He can’t see how hard she tries. He can’t see her at all.
She is no more noticeable than the curtains. When he needs light, he knows where to find it, but more often than not, he closes the drapes and blocks out the sunshine.
Eventually, that once burning desire in her heart begins to fade, and she grows cold and resentful. She knows she deserves more. She is the sun, god damn it. She will not let her light be snuffed.
She perseveres. She ignores being ignored. She pretends it doesn’t bother her. She finds comfort in other places.
And the gap that separates them grows wider and wider.
Inches become feet which become miles, and eventually she can no longer summon the energy to cross the divide.
Where does she go from here?
Can she still burn bright on her own?
Of course she can.
She is the sun, God damn it.
Mandi is a happy-go-lucky Texas girl who loves to tell stories, laugh, and have dance parties in her kitchen. She tries to keep life simple and live on the bright side. She is the author of Dear Stephanie, a novel scheduled to be released this spring. To learn more, visit her blog: Cellulite Looks Better Tan or connect with her: Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram.