It feels so strange

To love so much

I crave the intimate feeling

But fear its emotional touch

You say you love me

That you are mine

But I make up new lines

Re-framing your words

Inside my mind

I make up dialogue, create new context

Sending my mind into perpetual loops

I try so hard to convince myself

That you can’t really love me

I want to trust you. Can I?

So I can feel your love

But how would you feel

If you knew about my scars

My paranoid delusions

My overwhelming fright

Would you understand

This crazy mind I’m in

Would you understand

That it is this desire to love you

Sabotaging these feelings I possess

I am anxious you will run

To a past adoration

Someone you might

Possibly still be hung up on

I am nervous you will leave me

If I say too much, give too much

I am concerned I might look desperate

For something you might not be capable of

I run to you, needing you infinitely

But I run away from you

Afraid if I stay you will turn your back on me

I so desperately want to put myself

Into your shoes, know your thoughts

Feel your emotions first hand

Convincing me you are worth every part of me

14 thoughts on “IN YOUR SHOES

  1. Oh my goodness. I have all of those words in my head at times too.Too often for my liking, but when things are good and we are communicating well, I forget all about them and they remain buried, but when we aren’t in contact or there’s no ‘lovey dovey’ communication, I become just like this and think the same things. Thank you so much for sharing and letting me know I’m so not alone in this. I really love your work, and read them all even when they don’t strike a chord with me. πŸ˜€


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