Today I look like I do any other day from an outsider’s perspective.  However, today I have put myself in time out.  I am not allowed to have any important conversations about feelings.  I am not allowed to think destructive or self-deprecating thoughts.  I am not allowed to sit and sulk.  Today I will sit at my desk and work, I will simply work, I will be productive, I will be thoughtful and smart and if called upon to do a task I will deliver results effortlessly.

Unfortunately, I found myself out of sorts as I sometimes do; the proverbial woke up on the wrong side of the bed.  Today I was reminded of that strange fairy tale story “Three Billy Goats Gruff”.  This nasty Troll was greedy letting the smaller goats pass and was ultimately destroyed by his greed.  I picture a mean nasty Troll sitting in my head sleeping the nights and days away.  This Troll of mine is fairly lazy but when he wakes up he is about as mean, hateful, nasty, rude, greedy, and vile as a Troll can get.

Today he decided to wake up and terrorize me.  First, the alarm clock made him angry, “I never EVER get enough sleep!” Then he checked his phone and wondered how come nobody left him a message in his absence, “What am I chopped liver?” He weighed and noticed he hasn’t lost a pound since the last time he woke up about a month ago and he scolded the scales.  He began fixing his breakfast and realized there wasn’t any milk so the whole day was ruined.

Always ready to get the show on the road is confidence.  Confidence woke up early to find the Troll crying about not having any friends.  When confidence tried to reassure him he snarled and scared confidence away for the day.  Second, in line was positivity ready to absorb the Trolls negative charge.  When the Troll stepped on the scales and began blaming the world positivity tried reminding him of his strength to take control of his responsibilities but the Troll lashed out in anger and sucked the life from positivity.  Last was patience, very wise and calm.  Patience saw how the Troll was handling the breakfast situation.  Patience knew the Troll very well from years of watching and learning how the Troll spent his time.  Patience decided the best place for the Troll was in time out so she waited just long enough for him to sit and rest before she creeped up and sat down next to the Troll.  Patience didn’t say a word, offered no advice, didn’t try to change him or teach him, she didn’t meet his eyes or take his hand; she just sat next to him letting him be.  In time she knew he would sleep again and all would be right again.  Patience remembers past uprisings to kill the Troll and it was during these uprisings the Troll would stay awake for days.   Patience knew that a sleeping Troll was a happy mind.

So today I will be patient……….