A Trauma Dad Post

When Your Dad Tries to Kill You

I hope you read the post above. Byron can also be found writing on Vocal.com.

From the moment I met Byron I liked him. He had a good heart and I didn’t need much more than words on a piece of paper to know that. He started out as a friend and for all I knew, at the time, that’s all that he ever would be.

Flash forward…. I was getting a divorce and had already decided not to date. It was just me and my girl and I was so happy about that. Some more time passed before the idea of meeting and possibly dating became a topic. It never occurred to me to even consider dating someone from another country. I mean how would that even work. And then we were an “US” and have been for gosh what 5 or 6 years?

I say all this because I knew he had a traumatic past before I decided to date him. Note: even the word traumatic seems too tame a word to describe his life. There was full disclosure and open communication. I knew what statistics say about childhood trauma.

I never, not once, felt him to be abusive. We had to figure things out. Learn how to communicate. There were some issues with learning to trust because neither of us wanted to repeat past mistakes. But never once did I ever feel anything but a loving heart behind that rib cage of his.

He’s good through and through but he had to work really hard to become who he is. The choices he has made often included a harder path that took determination.

I admire him. Who he is. The choices he had made. And how hard he continues to try to do better and be better. And he has helped me too. I’m better because of him. I’m happier because of him.

So if you feel like you need improvement then make the effort. You have choices. You can be different.

When you make love the core of all that you do then even your mistakes will fall into place. There is peace to be found there.

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