A friend asked me if I had ever tried to meditate. I told him I had tried but my mind sounds like a crazy drunken concert crowd. Always loud. Always rowdy. He sent me some links to try and I tried. I fell asleep with a quiet mind. It was strange.

This morning I woke up with one thought in my mind. What if I am the problem? What if I looked at the world with the knowledge that I am the problem and the solution? What if all this time I thought I had no power to change anything and didn’t try just to find out I held all the power to do everything?

Of course, it is a ridiculous line of reasoning.

But what if…

In all cases, when one is alone, they will be with themselves.  It is when one is alone that they must either face themselves or deny themselves.  To deny themselves is a great injustice.  It leads to corruption of the heart and soul.  It leads to unhappiness and a warped sense of self.

To face oneself takes courage.  They will often times discover they are sorcerers of manipulation and carriers of social disease.  And if they look long enough they will find a pile of bones, skeletons long ago forgotten, in a closet somewhere locked away.  They will come across traps laid and lies told maliciously.  Many of those lies (and the most destructive) will be the lies they told themselves.  Those lies will be justified as being techniques of survival but are lies all the same.

To face oneself takes heroism. It is extremely painful and many will avoid it at ALL costs.  They will continue looking to others for acceptance and they will believe all the ridiculous things people will believe about them.  The will bow down to the abusive names they are called and they will weep. And then they will fall into the pit of despair they alone have dug.

To face oneself takes willfulness and compassion. Because to face oneself is to finally care enough to embrace humanity.  To embrace mistakes and imperfection.  To realize they are both a monster and an angel.  That they are both light and dark.  That they are indeed in control of the amount of love and hate they dispense into the world.

We are all so very magical.  We possess so much power.  We get stuck on our flaws and our illnesses.  We get stuck believing we are ALL the things anyone has ever said about us.  WE do and continue to do horrible things to ourselves believing that it is good to torture ourselves in order to grow ourselves.

To face oneself is to win. Everyone is capable of love and forgiveness. But it starts with the self. A person is many things. Both good and evil. But to face oneself is to win happiness.

What if we are the problem? What if we are the solution?

If enough of us finally decided to face ourselves the world would be the beautiful place we all dream of.  Change.  It starts with you.  It starts with me.

16 thoughts on “BUT WHAT IF….

  1. I love this! So true. A real awakening for me was when I was in my late 20’s, I think. I finally realized that I AM RESPONSIBLE. I’m the one that can change it. That was HUGE!
    Wonderful read. Thank you!


  2. A coworker, back in the day, was a beautifully wise man who had celebrated 37 and more AA birthdays. His favorite saying was, “Other people’s opinions about me are none of my business.” The number of times he had faced himself through the 12 Steps was probably beyond counting. It is true that only in facing our own self with honesty and compassion can we fully meet others in clarity and kindness, and without judging them. Thanks, Hasty for a beautiful What if.


  3. My daughter is trying to teach me meditation. She meditates every night, and helps her sleep; she battles anxiety disorder and panic disorder.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. This is not crazy. Though I like to add.
    You are not the problem, neither are you the solution. You do however have the tools to make it work. Nothing comes on a silver platter.

    Come clean with your mind and the choices made. Still we humans always try to find ways out or blame it on something other. We are not the problem we are just dumb we know the answers but have no way of dealing with them.

    Thank you for this

    Liked by 1 person

  5. We ARE the solution. It’s just that many people aren’t taught this and don’t know how or what to change. We as a nation (and then some) spend a lot of time sitting in the place of victim, believing we are powerless. That is the myth: that we have no power or control over our lives. Thank you for putting this out there.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I read this with interest – not especially for what you said, but how said it. Such a wonderful blend of points of view: I, he, we, oneself, you but mostly they. I’m not smart enough to know what all that means – I was hoping that you would, actually. 🙂
    Oh, and I like what you said too – just for the avoidance of doubt. 😉
    Kindness – Robert.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I have always had a problem with tenses. I truly write as my mind thinks. And I find myself thinking about myself but before I am done I am thinking about everyone else and how I am a part of them and they WE become THEY and then… well… confusion about who the post was supposed to be about.

      I could edit for clarity I suppose. I have been told my writing lacks clarity. And they are right. It does. I will reread something later and am unclear what I even meant.

      Why don’t I fix it? Well because it is my diary. I don’t want to edit a diary. I want to look back and see where my mind was traveling. In and out and around all the different tenses there is some sort of purpose in the puzzle that is my writing.

      Also…. I can be full of shit too 🙂

      Thank you so much for your comment. I think to answer your question. It means that my mind is a maze of unclear thoughts trying to find clarity. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      • Hahaha – I think that I’m going to like talking you very much – you have an agile mind and an introspective nature and those are two qualities I hold in high esteem.
        Tense-schmense! That can go and f itself right up its self-righteous a. 😉
        So – how’s your day going?
        Kindness – Robert.


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