#BeReal – RA AVIS

My #BeReal guest today is Ra Avis.


I love fairy tales and blanket forts. I love daydreams and dandelion wishes.  I think if you asked most of my friends and family to describe me, these concept would be tossed around.

But they’d also tell you, for all my whimsicality, I am  real.

My feet are planted in reality.
I own the path I’ve walked, I own the mistakes I’ve made.

I take responsibility for the footsteps and people I’ve left behind.

To be real in present tense is to take ownership of your past tense, and stake claim in your future.

To be real is to accept your journey.

To be real is to be your own light, and not let someone else color your path.  Not the one you’ve walked or crawled, not the patch where you have made your stands, and not the possibility of what comes after that next mountain.

I color myself. I light my own way…

and sometimes that means I run into dark, and sometimes that means I run out of rainbows…

but when you are real to yourself, then you know that being lost is just part of finding the best way forward.

When people see me, I’d like them to see the whimsicality, but there’d be no reason to.  I am very ordinary, on the outside.  I smile a lot, and I’d like people to see what a victory that is, but I don’t think that shows either.

I went to prison, you know.  I served 438 days. Exactly one year in, my husband died.  I’ve been sick, in hospitals for days.  I’ve lost people close to me.  I have anxiety attacks that lock me into form.  I don’t know to drive, and the ignorance of that sits comfortably with my education.  All of it surprises people…

none of it left scars on my face.

None of the fairy tales I saw die left an imprint on my skin, none of the wishes I lost wrote themselves into the braids of my hair.

So few people write a destiny that can be read at a glance, so I’ve learned to look closer, to listen more carefully.  For most people, life happens so fast that it barely leaves a mark.  In this one way, I am like most people.

Life happened to me, and I happened to life.

The girls inside would say, I was down 438 days, and maybe that’s true.  I’ve been left, right, up, down, inside, outside.  I’ve been ignorant, educated, beautiful, plain, rich, poor, remembered, forgotten.  I hardly know the difference anymore, if there ever was a difference.  It doesn’t matter.  Wherever I’m standing is a place I own.

I own my reality– my past and my present.

I am making my future.

It’s the gift of being real.

20160513_140546Ra lives and loves in Los Angeles and the internet, where frightfully wondrous things happen. She is a once-upon-a-time inmate, a reluctantly-optimistic widow, an exponential storyteller, and also basically a dinosaur. Her own story is a long one, but the short version is she (probably) loves you.

Three links:



46 thoughts on “#BeReal – RA AVIS

    • Thank you, Sreejit. I’m hoping to have something for your new series too. It’s wonderful, all these collections of stories found in the ‘sphere.

      I guess I should have said. .. being real TO ME means, but the writing was more fun if I made it sound like law. 😉 I am glad the idea resonated with you. 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

    • I thought about this all night. Why would someone not be real? I was going to say, lots of reasons, but after pondering so long, I think there’s only one reason… fear.

      Not to say those of us who aim to be real are fearless… just that maybe we’ve found bigger things to fear than our authenticity?

      Love you, chica. Thanks for popping by.

      Liked by 3 people

  1. I love you, Ra… Past, present and (probably) future you 😉💞 (You know why I threw in probably, right?! I know you do!) Your passion and light are beacons in the dark, my sweet whimsical friend!

    Liked by 2 people

    • Yes. Exactly this. If we take ownership of where we wer, then we can actually move on to where we are. And find joy in it. Thank you for reading, for adding insight, and for sharing. ❤

      Liked by 2 people

  2. Pingback: how i #beReal – rarasaur

  3. Such lovely (and real) words, Ra. It reminded me of the children’s book, The Velveteen Rabbit, when the toy horse spoke to him about being real (and I had to go look this up, but I thought it was really beautiful)

    ‘It doesn’t happen all at once,’ said the Skin Horse. ‘You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.”

    Liked by 4 people

    • Imaginary is fun, too, but it’s even better when we know what parts are real. As I type this, I realize all my life lessons come from children’s books… 😉 You’d think I only read those or something. 😀 Thanks for popping over to read, Bradley. I appreciate it!

      Liked by 2 people

  4. I’ve come to the conclusion, Ra, that wherever you stand, you make it your own. It’s a beautiful quality that resonates the kind of reality we all appreciate, respect and are inspired by. Thanks for sharing your realness 😉

    Liked by 2 people

    • Thank you, Liv. 😀 I’m fond of that method of life-living, though it has its downsides too– like I said in the post, sometimes I run into dark patches and there’s no one to blame but me. 😉 Thank you for popping over and reading, I appreciate it. 😀

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Once again you awe and inspire me. Yes, to be who we were made to be is a gift that we give to ourselves and the world.
    Not always an easy task but one that is vitally important.
    When we wake to the one we are and accept her (or some word) then magical things happen.
    Love and angels

    Liked by 1 person

    • That shirt represents many of the best reasons I have to smile! 😀 I am glad to be free and sharing my dino-sized smile with you all once again. Thanks for popping by, for reading, and for your kind words. ❤

      Liked by 2 people

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