My #BeReal guest today is Thelma Thomas.
This piece was submitted several weeks ago and since then Thelma’s son has died of a heroin overdose. Please give her your love and support.
The Mouthy Mermaid Talks About Addiction, How Did I Get Here?
First of all Hasty, thank you for inviting me to write an article about my life. I never saw myself as a writer before and I like it. I don’t know if I am doing it correctly but I am getting readers, making friends and having fun. So today…..Thelma Thomas, The Mouthy Mermaid is going to talk about addiction.
I started life as a nice Catholic School educated young woman in the 60’s and graduated HS in the early 70’s. Ladies in my era were raised to go to college and find a nice husband to take care of them, right?
Well, I found a husband that I had to take care of ……Why, because he was an alcoholic, that’s why. I didn’t get it for years because of course I thought this behavior was perfectly NORMAL. Yes, dear friends , it’s perfectly normal to drink a 12 pack every day, it’s perfectly normal to argue with my mother who lived with us about who drank all the beer, because of course she was an alcoholic too. It’s perfectly normal for both of his parents to die from alcohol related illnesses, NORMAL, RIGHT???
The head blew off 27 years later when he was so drunk he couldn’t get out of the pool and all I could see was me holding his head under the water. Hmmmm, I walked to a Circle K and had a brain flash and used the payphone and called something called Al anon and some nice lady came and picked me up and took me to a meeting. Finally dear friends, I got it. I got all of it about being a Codependent. I call us Co’s. BTW, I went to meetings for years.
A few years later, he never was able to get it together and we divorced and it was long, drawn out and nasty. Mom passed away, his brother died of an overdose and on and on and on.
So now……My Dear Son has this illness of course because I totally believe it is a genetic illness. My addiction is to them, not substances. I learned that in Al anon.
The daily killing of a beautiful young man at age 33 is about killing his mother. This man, my Dear Son or my Dear Addict, has been in jail, treatment x2 and on and on and on. His lovely wife, Little Miss is codependent, they met in high school, she has no idea how to get help nor will she as I have offered many avenues. I am so scared for my Dear Son. When addiction hits your loved ones and your family what’s the answer. In his world, I pray, offer to take him to AA, and usually stay out of it. I detach as I learned in Al anon.
Drugs, heroin and pills are killing the youth in this country and no one gives a big fat shit. The epidemic is so large no one knows what to do. Me: I would like to put drug dealers in jail. I am hurt, sad, angry, depressed and don’t even know what else.
Addiction kills the addict and their loved ones. Right now it’s killing me and my addict can’t even care. Thank God I have a good support circle of GF’s and my man.
Does anyone have any ideas on this topic?
Bio:
I am a 59 years young lady rocking life, with the ups and downs. I live in a happy place in the ocean, I love and collect Mermaids because they are a mythical being. I swim through the MURK every day and love life.
You can find me at www.themouthymermaid.com where my mermaid friends discuss everything and put it right out there.
You can find me on Facebook @ Thelma Thomas, The Mouthy Mermaid.
HASTYWORDS 
I am Thelma, my son died of a heroin overdose last Saturday. Thank you my dear friend Hasty for letting me write this story. xoxoxox Thelma
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My heart wants to hug you. May you reach mAny in the name of your son.
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I’m so sorry for your loss on so many levels, Thelma. I grew up a child surrounded by alcoholics. I know the pain of watching people you love succumb to their addictions. Please no that I, and the many others like me, are sending you love and support.
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Thank you I am getting through it. Today I am feeling much stronger. I feel for you because I know you know. xoxoxox Thelma
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One day, one breath at a time 😉
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I don’t know which part would be harder, loosing a child to addiction, or the time (perhaps years) of seeing it coming. I’ve been spared that in my own family, but have seen it too often in my work in mental health and with people in my personal life. Thank you, Thelma and Hasty for sharing this story, and feeling for the sorrow of the loss. re-blogging
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Reblogged this on cabbagesandkings524 and commented:
Another great Be Real
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Thank you Bob for re-blogging. Love Thelma
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The years of living it was a ride from Hell. I so miss him but so glad he is at peace.
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So sorry for your loss. Unfortunately, we often cannot save people from themselves.
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I have known Thelma for several years, and we have become good friends and shared some pretty raw stories over early morning coffee. I met Thelma after she became my neighbor, and I’m learning more from and about her as the years go on. Her son Michael is a beautiful soul and the empty space in our world is where he should be right now. How can he be gone, just like that? Addiction is stronger than willpower, it is a disease, and I can personally attest to the destruction it wreaks to all involved. My hope for my dear friend Thelma is to heal by helping others prevent this pain that is beyond words. She will channel this grief into helping others in her generous and nurturing manner. Help her to reach other people that are still able to prevent this unnecessary tragedy from recurring.
Keep writing and reaching others Thelma!
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I’m so very sorry for your loss, but also glad that he has finally found peace. I have been lucky to not have had addiction in my immediate family. Living in Vermont, we have seen this heroin problem explode in the past few years, even making the cover of Rolling Stone magazine. Imagine that…our small town of 16K making national news because of what is referred to as “the heroin highway” between major cities in New York and My specific town. These “dealers” are able to make a several hundred percent profit by bringing the poison here…. what sells for $10-20 in Albany ,NY or New York City might go for as much as $80-100 here.
We have been lucky to have a Governor, that recognized the severity of the epidemic, and that addiction is a disease, in his State of State Address, and has made every resource available to address it.
Of course there is still a lot of work to do,especially with stopping it from coming in by making criminal courts tougher on the people selling the drug.. but we aren’t seeing as many ODs, I hope, in part, because of the easier access to treatment and treating addiction, as a medical issue instead of a criminal issue. It’s my hope that heroine addiction is someday recognized as the disease it is, and treated as such, everywhere…. Making treatment as easy as getting treatment for any other disease or ailment.
I apologize for running on… this heroin epidemic just hits a nerve. It’s so sad to see how easy and fast these young people can destroy their lives and their family’s.
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It is so terrible to lose someone you love but please know that you are not alone. God heals.
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Dear Friends, I am alive and somewhat well. I am getting it somewhat together and getting ready to live some kind of life, what that is I’m not sure and that’s ok. Thank you all for your comments. Sending mermaid love to you all.
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