TRANSPARENCY

I can’t remember it The hopeless struggle The foul spirited dark Nobody left to see My sight in jeopardy I can hear the speaking Underneath the silence In between the tugs I can feel the pulls Like thread through skin Bloodless brutality I am holding breath I am purging Transparent bodies Curled up inside me…

WORKING IT ALL OUT

When I was young I was scrappy and brave. I was a tomboy. My knees got bloody from performing dangerous feats on skateboards and bikes. I bit into a smelling salt capsule and survived. I’ve stepped on broken bottles. Cut my toe off. Kid stuff. All my injuries came from my own reckless behavior. I…

DEPRESSION IS A DJ

Depression is a dj. Not only that but a director and a producer. A writer of lyrics. A master mixer. A brilliant organizer. Depression is a prolific genius. Depression will study quietly in a corner. Sift through every interaction in your life organizing them. And then he lays down tracks. Beats that will bring you…

I DIDN’T KNOW

I didn’t know. I didn’t know about calories. About opinions or judgements. I didn’t know about exercise or the difference between carbs and protein. I didn’t know I was going to spend most of my life worrying about those things. I didn’t know boys would break my heart or that I would feel not good…

ASK FOR IT

I feel like this sometimes. It’s lack of sleep. It’s a butt load of disappointments piling up. It’s a whole lot of tired mind and tired body. And a little bit of self-destruction saying “why try” and “why do you think you deserve good things?” Reality is…. everything is fine when I feel this way.…

WHEN PEOPLE LEAVE

People you love will leave It’ll hurt and you’ll cry Your brain will have A million things to say You’ll blame yourself Wish you could have done better Wish you could have changed Wonder what you could have done But babe If you loved them and you tried If you were there for them If…

THE POSTAL LINE

I hesitate to post this because I’m bringing race into an experience I just had. It’s my experience as a typical average white woman so keep in mind this is my perspective. I had to spend my lunch hour standing in line at the post office. There was an elderly man with a leather Marines…

MENTAL ENERGY

I decided a few things. Settled a few things about myself I’d been struggling with. Mainly little things that have caused far too much anxiety. So… I let go. I let go of all the hopes and dreams and opened a mental bank account for the energy I spent on them. I’ll use that energy…