IT’S THE JOURNEY

There is a moment when you realize that your journey is yours. That moment is different for everyone. That moment for me was when I needed brain surgery. They say life flashes before your eyes when you are faced with the possibility of no tomorrow. And though we all face that possibility every second… rarely…

THE OTHER TERROR

I remember reading the passage below when I was suffering from depression and thinking how perfectly it described how I felt in the darkest moment of my life. There are terrors you can’t see. I didn’t understand depression until I had it. I had to come face to face with that unseen terror. And it’s…

X MARKS THE SPOT

It wasn’t a castle But it was his castle I wasn’t a servent But I felt like one Obedience worn As decades fell And it was those My years of life Screaming at me Forever hoping I’d be worth More than that X marks the spot So much lost Beneath my feet

WE ARE DESTRUCTION

What was the purpose When it all feels useless What if she just called Life’s perverse bluff The universe lied The greatest distraction The boldest cruelty The sunsets, the dawn The rain showers The ocean waves The destruction of life Held by them all Quietly waiting For us to understand There’s nothing But pain in…

EMBALMED WITH DESPAIR

It’s the kind of fog that stole my breath Thick and shadowy Dark skulking movements that stuck to my skin. Ominous and dangerous It held the memory of every broken scream I hated this kind of fog And for the longest time It’s the only kind I knew It swallowed the sun leaving me isolated,…

IT’S DARK IN HERE

I’d never been afraid of the hallway. The echoes it carried. The voices. The feet. The light that zigzagged across the floor. That landed on the walls. That rained from the ceiling. It’s always been there to welcome and carry me from one room to the next. And there were always countless rooms. So many…

DEFYING GRAVITY

I fell from the sky once. I remember how the air refused to hold me. How fantastic it was that I was defying gravity one push at a time. My heart was soaring along with all my limbs. I was laughing. I was so happy. And then the rope broke. It broke just as I…

THE MOLD MONSTER

I woke up after a long night of tossing and turning. Dreams of self-hate, disrespect, mistrust and betrayal. It felt… familiar. Like the beginning of something I still had control of. Once I woke I identified the core feelings I needed to work on. Now I’ll work through them and get a nap later. Depression…

IT’S A TYPE OF VIOLENCE

They say the more you love someone the more it hurts to lose them.  They say it’s worth it.  But I don’t know who “they” is. I’ve watched people dear to me lose the love of their life and… they say different things.  They want what they had back because to be without them feels…

WHERE DEATH NOW STANDS

The orange furnace Becomes but embers Upon its final breath The charred trunks Stand tall and dark And it’s quiet… As if completely Exhausted and worn From a battle It could not fight Energy burned off Damaged and broken Nothing is welcome In this sad place Silently standing And waiting… For the sun to shine…