#OctPoWriMo2018 I am dedicating October to the reason I started my blog. Depression. It’s the scariest thing I have ever had to deal with. It is still the scariest thing I have to deal with. Depression is a constant. It will never go away. It snuck up on me. I was always anxious but depression……
I promise I won’t lie I am broken Slashed open Innocence stolen And parts of me Are provoked By the throat Of a ghost Forming words That cursed The world I see Coerced and hurt A past rehearsed For many decades I constantly revert And my heart blurts It’s pain into reality And my…
My jaw clenches My fingernails Yearn to scratch At layers of skin My joints ache Rigidity laced Stand like a statue Hold still, hold still Breathe in slow Hold… maybe Forever if you can Fix your stare On a calmer future Moments past this Tick tick tick Final loud tock Exhale Open your eyes Look…
When I experienced bad bouts of anxiety and depression I would isolate. I still do. Avoid socializing. Avoid commitment. Avoid stimulation. I would escape into my own head and look for comfort there. But I would never find it. When someone with depression reaches out to talk and they are scolded or told to just…
I used to blackout when I drank. Not always but quite often. Blackout doesn’t mean you act any differently than your inebriated self would act. It just means you won’t remember what you did, what you said, or where you went. Your memory was too drunk to record. Therefore, no memory. Swimming motion Blurs the…
The curve winds around Like a snake that slithers Underneath my veins I can’t feel the motion Or understand why It’s wrapping itself Around my everyday But it’s dragging me From my focus And pulling me From my slumber Waiting inside my joints Trying to convince me It’s all hopeless
I don’t write much anymore. I haven’t needed to. I started my blog years ago as a way of releasing the voices in my head that had grown so loud I couldn’t trust reality anymore. These voices played havoc on my relationships and nearly cost me my life. At the time I had a friendship…
I’m paralyzed Inside thoughts I’ve overanalyzed Finding demons I’ve devised I’m not surprised It’s an everyday Compromised and Fertilized in fear And perfectly Standardized Inside my mind Clarified and Glorified amen My logic vaporized An ineffective virucide No longer quarantined And left to colonize Inside your love *I was thinking about Alien today and wanted…
I’m a big fan of honesty. I think if we hurt we should speak. We shouldn’t suffer in silence. But I have learned, over and over again, not every feeling or emotion needs to see the light of day in order for us to heal. In fact, voicing certain feelings can be harmful to other…
HASTYWORDS 