DOT TO DOT

There is a line A small one Little dots Connecting Our thoughts Our good ones Our bad ones Those that cry Those that laugh Those that rage A constellation Of ideas Of memories Of reasoning That create The person We become That line Is who we are *Depression is a terrible thing. It’s as if…

PATIENT ENCOURAGEMENT

Some things are too painful and too hard to overcome without patient encouragement and love. I hope everyone who needs it can find it. It’s typically the impatient moments that rise to the surface and grab notoriety. The angry customer. The ranting neighbor. The crazy employee. People having trouble being rational because something has gotten…

DETOXING

The spirits walk through walls They hover over our anxiety And they wrap our limbs Into the most complicated knots The emotions swell and spiral As the silence begins to breathe And the chairs… they squeak And the beds… they rustle And the bedsheets… they tangle And our fists bang on walls And our guts…

CRITICAL VOICES

There are people everyday with a variety of mental disorders doing very courageous things by any standard. Focus on your abilities. Strengthen them. Starve the nasty voices in your head that say you aren’t good enough and feed the voices that are cheering you on. We all have that critical voice that seems to be…

DEPRESSION FLAVORED VODKA

#OctoWriMo2018 Day 2 One thing I’ve learned about MY depression is that being sober and staying away from alcohol is a MUST.  Alcohol is a depressant. You may feel ok for a short (very short while) but it is short lived and then you are worse off than you were. The best thing I ever…

THE DIRT SHIFTS

#OctPoWriMo2018 I am dedicating October to the reason I started my blog.  Depression.  It’s the scariest thing I have ever had to deal with.  It is still the scariest thing I have to deal with. Depression is a constant.  It will never go away.  It snuck up on me.  I was always anxious but depression……

YOU’RE STILL HERE

My jaw clenches My fingernails Yearn to scratch At layers of skin My joints ache Rigidity laced Stand like a statue Hold still, hold still Breathe in slow Hold… maybe Forever if you can Fix your stare On a calmer future Moments past this Tick tick tick Final loud tock Exhale Open your eyes Look…

WHEN THE SEQUINS FALL

I’ve been thinking a bunch about the last decade of my life. Much of it was captured right here on this blog. I’ve been absent lately. Life just had a way of demanding my attention. Holding me accountable. Changing me. Healing me. And as I look at the things I’ve written… I barely recognize this…

ISOLATION

When I experienced bad bouts of anxiety and depression I would isolate.  I still do.  Avoid socializing.  Avoid commitment.  Avoid stimulation.  I would escape into my own head and look for comfort there.  But I would never find it. When someone with depression reaches out to talk and they are scolded or told to just…