A STORY

Don’t think Walk slow Stay steady Focus on steps Close off sound Close off smell Shallow breath Step into shower It’s cold Sharp inhale Shock Water warms Wash hair Wash body Then cry Cry harder Feel your body Shaking Breaking Washing down drain… No… Stop thinking Feel the water Stand until It grows cold again…

MUTED

Sounds tend to throb Slightly muted Under the noise of Blood rushing A vibrating River Dulling my words I’m in here My eyes plead My hands reach My face contorts But my voice Is imprisoned By the sound Of my own pulse *NOTE There have been moments in the past that are hard to describe.…

TRENDSPOTTING

Reconciling never ends As the narrow bones Widen into countries And the steps descend Into chaotic drumbeats We churn the gold out Spread it on idols Tarnished repetition Tok tok tok tok tik Developing desperation The bell tolled And landscapes rolled And nobody Was the wiser

DEADFALL

Deadfall seasons Come like the night Sneaky and silent Waiting quietly with its Blood red oranges And copper smells A soft wet decay With no words to say Rain without cover Cold without a coat Dark without light This is the last place I’ll see until spring Peeks into my soul again

THE SINS OF TRAUMA

There are lots of things I hate About trauma Real honest to goodness trauma Like… How it automatically steals Future joy How it cripples effective communication How it makes trenches With one way signs in brains How it dictates patterns Of protection Of avoidance Of self-sabotage Of self- destruction Of hyper-vigilance How it demands boundaries…

THE PAST

A cavalcade of horrors Abominable explorers March around the face Barely keeping pace Ticks marking seconds As the past steadily beckons Hands running retrograde The harvester already paid Searching all the memories For every infernal enemy Be careful what you chose To reverse, repeat, rewind You have only everything to lose

NO MONSTER

I believed for awhile The monster cried That it was as alone And broken inside But tears never fell Life never called And death just Stood alone No monster Just me

A THING I’D LIKE TO HIDE

My boss has walked in on me more than a few times to catch me ugly cry. He walks in and I smile… as of smiling will distract him from seeing the tears. It’s an automatic reflex. To hide my pain. I don’t cry as often these days. I try hard to take care of…

NO VITALS

Maybe the words won’t flow There is no waterfall No marching syllables Maybe the sigh doesn’t come There is no gentle breeze No soft release of air Maybe the eyes can’t see There is no rising sun No focused images Maybe there is no beat There is no thunder No vital signs