Pulls out my two cents to share…

I want to teach my daughter to take care of herself. I don’t want her to have the false sense of security that some laws tend to create.

Trust me… being a victim of date rape I want to teach my daughter how to stay safe.

Don’t go into dark alleyways, or quiet stairwells alone.
Don’t drink and expect your friends to keep you safe.
Be careful sharing your personal information.
Always notice your surroundings.
Take your time to developing trust.

Then how come I don’t care if a transgendered woman or girl uses my bathroom?

Because predators are everywhere and they come in all sizes, ages, shapes, genders, color, religion, and political party. They are monsters and they know where and how to find you.

Nobody wants a predator of any type in their restroom, or bus, or cafe, or…

Predators are in your kids school, church, and daycare. They work at the movie theaters and grocery stores. They are hiding in plain sight. Some are even in your own household and you are completely oblivious.

The first problem I have with the “bathroom bill” is how people are stereotyping transgenders as predators. This is ludicrous. You not understanding their life does not make them a predator, or a pervert, or indecent.

The second problem is one of compassion.

You have what looks like a woman (with a vagina) walking into a men’s bathroom because they had a penis a one point. Unless this NOW woman changes the sex on her birth certificate she can not legally walk into a women’s restroom.  It is obvious how this puts the woman in danger.

Some will say “that is their choice”.  Step back and think about how much money that person spent and how much backlash and judgement that person has had to endure.  Fixing gender identity is a long and very hard process.

Why should we consider how people identify themselves?  We are not only talking about adults here.  We are also talking about young transgendered children. Do you know how many young adults struggle with gender identity?  Here is just one story you can read and maybe this beautiful girl will help you see this issue differently.

The truth is there have been laws that prohibit us from discriminating based on sexual orientation or gender identity for quite some time now. There is no evidence to suggest segregated bathrooms are safer than unisex bathrooms. In fact, there are laws (a false sense of security) protecting everyone from criminal activity that takes place in restrooms.

I heard the argument that we need to protect our girls. None of us wants our children to be traumatized by a man/woman exposing themselves. However, I have seen numerous men use the women’s restroom in the past and I have used theirs when the need arose and the purpose was always, literally, to use the restroom.

I will always and have always been cautious in public restrooms. Yes this might seem to make it easier for the bad stuff to happen but..


If we want to protect our children we need to watch them, not just our children but all children, and we need to watch the people co-existing around them better.




  1. I concur. I do understand being uncomfortable with having someone transgender that some would still consider a “man” in the bathroom with a young girl. BUTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT, I still come to a very similar conclusion to yours. Predators aren’t going into your Target bathrooms. They are everywhere and like you said, “Hiding in plain sight.” They don’t need bathrooms to do what they do.

    And it is so horribly insulting to the Transgender community to just lump them in, intentionally or not, with pedofiles.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Thank you, Hasty. I live in North Carolina and almost daily hear or read the sides of the conflict (can’t really call it a debate) over HB2. The whole bathroom predator meme is so ugly. I hear persons claiming to be “men of God”, preachers and so on saying, in essence, that LGBTQ people are unnatural and against Gos Law, calling them all dangerous perverts, and not in the least bothered by anything that might endanger them because they deserve whatever happens to them. They are beyond ignorant. They can’t stand it that such people exist. As for laws about who uses which bathroom, predators don’t care, except about doing what they want to do and not getting caught. It may be likely that a trans person who has been through abuse and harassment would be more alert to a predator’s behavioral tells than the average straight person, and more inclined to intervene. If I had a daughter, Laverne Cox could be her bathroom monitor any time. reblogging

    Liked by 1 person

  3. How can anyones stop a trans person using the toilets anyway, if they succesfully look like their gender identity? Unless there are going to be genital inspectors outside all toilets…….. it’s all a stupid debate.

    Today I used an unisex toilet (UK). Though it was just one private toilet. So there could be ques for it i guess, but that is one way to go if it’s really such a big issue. It also had disabled facilities. so it was a toilet for ALL. it’s not a regular thing in the UK, don’t get the wrong impression. But it just so happens I was somewhere today with this unisex toilet.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I very much agree with you. I think you said it well. The people who identify as say female, should be able to use the girls washroom. I think their is an assumption like you say that they’re a predator because they’re transgender and that’s absolutely false in 99 percent of cases. Also you’re right, if there’s a huge line up at the woman’s restroom and I really have to pee, I will sometimes use the men’s. So, am I predator then? Awesome post and yes we need to watch out in other places for true predators.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Well said. I’m still amazed that of all the issues in the world, this would be about the 9 millionth on my list of importance, I truly worry for the intelligence of the human race. Thank you for your eloquence on it.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Did you know that a child walking into a bathroom alone has always been a target for predators? That it’s not just our girls, but through countless generations it has been mostly unaccompanied boys who become targets because people question boys in the girls room with their mothers. My mom told me this- little leagues and sporting events in the 50’s, 60’s, 70’s, 80’s.

    I have no issue with bathroom usage, I am not going to ask a woman or girl who looks like a woman or girl to present a gender card or a man or boy who looks like a man or boy at that- if they make this law will they have to wear badges so we know? Because honestly, they don’t make predators wear identifying marks. Will there be new jobs that are purely for a person to stand outside of restrooms in public places asking for cards.

    How about we make it safer to just be human- that we don’t have to fear walking streets or going to the park or turning our head for a second. Oh wait- because there are no identifying marks on predators.

    Liked by 2 people

  7. This is exactly what I just said on a comment thread. Predators don’t care about rules, or signs, if they want your children they will find a way. We have boys, and a lot of people think boys are less at risk, but literally unless they went in 2 or 3 at a time, until they were probably ten-ish we took them in with us. You just never know. That might seem over protective, but luckily none of our boys ended up victims. It makes me so angry that they are attempting to demonize someone who is merely different. The majority of pedophiles are cisgendered middle aged white men. This bill is just pure hatred. It doesn’t protect anyone. As you said…there are laws that give us a false sense of security, but offer no real protection. Thank you for writing this. I am a transgender ally. 🙂


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