More and more men are taking up blogging as a means to release thoughts they are all too often bottling up. Please welcome my guest blogger today, Mr. Modigliani as he gives us a glimpse into a man’s inner life. I have come to know several men who are letting their more sensitive and passionate nature free using their words here on WordPress and I couldn’t be happier to be a witness to it. Mr. Modigliani is a very passionate man as well as a brilliant writer and artist. Please welcome Mr. Modigliani, a compassionate man.
COMPASSION FOR A MAN’S INNER LIFE by Mr Modigliani
When Hasty invited me to write for her, I told her that I wanted to write about the challenges that men face with compassion. There are so many female bloggers on WordPress that share every joy and sorrow, but the men are so very few.
Men here that express themselves with vulnerability, honesty and humor become like charismatics at a revival. Female bloggers flock to them because, I believe, there is such a need and desire for women to understand the inner lives of men. They are drawn to a man who is willing to reveal himself, whether he does that with humor, vulnerability or simply raw unfiltered expression.
As men, we simply don’t communicate like women do. Men and women seem to inhabit the same planet but lead completely different lives as though we are closely related species that diverged 10,000 years ago. Breeding is still possible but the communication capabilities of women have raced ahead of men’s evolution.
At 52 years old, I never had a full appreciation for this until this last year. Sure, there have been numerous studies and I have read related articles in The New York Times or The Atlantic (or wherever), but it didn’t really sink in. What happened then is that some women befriended, trusted and allowed me to simply listen and participate in their conversations as women. In all of my lifetime, I have never really had this opportunity.
My observation is that women are so much better than men at being friends. They wake in the morning and greet each other with love and warmth. They share both the small and large details of their lives. They mentor each other to better navigate difficult problems and make wiser choices in their lives. They send each other small gifts to demonstrate their love and friendship for each other and they are the first people to rush in during a crisis. Women constantly express love, compassion and support for each other.
Women, you can’t possibly imagine how different a man’s life is. Everything I will say is a generalization, but we are lone wolves. We carry all of our emotions bottled up inside and, for the most part, those emotions stay there, never to be expressed. In the last 30 years, I think I have cried twice and I suspect that is not uncommon for many men.
As men, our lives are like we exist in a hierarchy of wolves, competing for our position and its rewards. Even the other wolves we consider as our friends feel a bit like competitors and so we never really share and never, ever make ourselves vulnerable. So instead, we bury our emotions deep under many layers of protection and focus on building, creating and solving problems.
And, to be honest, our women are not always so good and helping us with our inner emotional lives. My own experience is that the women in my life have always wanted me for the needs that I fulfill for them. And so I have spent decades absorbing various complaints and worries, trying to support and then solve practical problems while trying to provide leadership in all the aspects of my own life.
Expressing and communicating our inner life is ultimately each man’s responsibility. We must acknowledge that we have an inner life and that we have a journey that is uniquely our own. We need to reach out and share ourselves more openly with other male friends that we can confide in. We must also have the courage to peel away the layers of our protection so we may experience compassionate love for the person we really are on the inside, especially from the women we cherish and love in our lives.
Permission to use the photo above, “She Tamed the Wolf”, is graciously granted by the photographer, Raphaelle Monvoisin. Raphaelle is a very talented graphic and web designer in Paris, France. You may see more of her work at http://www.raphaellem.com.
The Author who writes Mr Modigliani is a father, marketer, executive, artist and arts advocate. He has written three blogs around the themes of nature, spirituality, art, love and romance. At his newest blog, https://anartfulmansjournal.wordpress.com/, he writes poetically about the joys and pains of his journey as an artistic, passionate man.
12 thoughts on “COMPASSION FOR A MAN’S INNER LIFE”
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Thank you for your kind invitation Ms. Hasty. It is always an honor and a pleasure to work with you.
The way you described it is exactly how Coach has explained to me how men process and interact with their world.
You were given such a valuable insight into how a female “tribe” navigates their emotions and relationships. I can’t say I’m so good at it myself having mostly been around men throughout my life. I like to say I was raised in a pack of wolves. I did learn that women don’t like things so cut and dry (blunt) and that it’s an artform to ask for what you want without coming off as selfish.
Reblogged this on bopeepmeetsmrwolf and commented:
Tremendous insight. Thank you Hasty and Mr. Modigliani 🙂
It’s a fantastic describing of men’s reluctance to open up and share — he said it so very well.
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Great post, sincere,heartfelt, also very insightful. Consider this fellow lone wolf moved!
I am learning that there are more men out there that have the same tender soul as me… this makes me happy for the world… but I do feel a little less special… good post.
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You are super special to me
you too me too… too…
I think men are programmed as children to keep silent….. to not share their thoughts and feelings….. to “man up” and be “strong”
We do them a disservice by this… and then women wonder why as adults, the men in their lives hesitate to open up and share their deepest thoughts and feelings…. We wonder why they withhold parts of themselves, even from those who love them.
And sometimes this silent “strength” continues for so long, that we no longer realize it is a shield and not the truth.
It is an interesting topic for sure…. and a dialogue that should continue to be held.
Reblogged this on LUWAGGA ALLAN.