There is a song by Shane Henry named Beauty in the Struggle that I am always reminded of when I think of Gunnar Jones. Some of the most beautiful people are thrown into some of the hardest struggles. I am pleased to publish this guest blog written by Gunnar Jones. You can follow him on twitter or Instagram @gunnarj09 Keep in mind he is only 21 and I am so proud of him and the commitment he has made to his goals. I love you dear friend!
When you’re told repeatedly you’re beautiful you begin to believe it.
Beauty comes with a price. You’re no longer a person you’re an object. An object of lust, greed, hate, obsession, and/or affection. People look at you as something to conquer not something to hold.
I believe Marilyn Monroe was made into what she became, and because of it she became hollow. Eventually she numbed herself to death because she couldn’t be a real person. She couldn’t truly be loved. She became the Miranda Lambert song “Mamas Broken Heart” but no one helped her hide her crazy. Now take Lana Del Rey’s song “Young and Beautiful” that is my anthem. Along with Nicki Minaj’s track “Marilyn Monroe”.
My name is Gunnar Jones and I wonder daily what will happen when my beauty fades. I constantly go back and forth wondering whether I’m worthy to be loved. I’ve been a cashier, an honor student, a drug addict, an actor, a model, a geek, a bitch, a self-centered self-righteous Jesus freak, homophobic, heterosexual, metro-sexual, to finally admitting to myself I am gay.
I could rant all day about my life. About my absent father, my teenage mother (my hero), my crushed relationships, my broken heart, how tormented my mind is by what I’ve seen people do for drugs, what I’ve done myself for drugs. About being raped, about being a stripper, about being a waiter, about the pressures of being Gay in and Anti-Gay state and how I feel everything I do will never be enough.
But instead…I challenge myself daily to love God and love others. Without hesitation and without question.
Some might be able to imagine the hell meth’s grip had on me, or how when he gave me stitches he always said sorry. But none will know the true purpose behind everything I’ve gone through but God. So why?? Why would I look anywhere else for my answers?
I look at beauty as a challenge. The world isn’t always up for it but you have to be. Otherwise, you’ll let the world crush your beautiful heart…a heart that is truly cherished.
- A Beautiful Spirit (holysheepdip.wordpress.com)
- Gentlemen Prefer Legends (iconicpop.wordpress.com)
- Marilyn by Gloria Steinem (eveproofreads.com)
- Submission and Abuse (katherinehopkins.wordpress.com)
- Don’t let anyone diminish the light within yourself… (womenaftergodsheart.wordpress.com)
- 10 Tips from Marilyn Monroe (closetwhoresales.wordpress.com)
- A Perception of Beauty (Viktoria Modesta) (kdrevolt.wordpress.com)
- Inspired to be positive (nicolechineka.wordpress.com)
- Frantic beginnings…re-discover Yourself! (thebeautycloud.co.uk)
- Conceit (shellochsner.wordpress.com)