NO GAURANTEES

You can be made from stone And you might still crumble You can be made of songs And you might miss a beat You can be made of poetry And you might lose the words You can be made of color And you might be in the dark There are no guarantees None

FROM THE DARK

It’s hard To sit in the dark Surrounded By old feelings To let them Materialize brand new To be searched Yet again To be picked apart To be analyzed It’s hard To face your trauma To feel it To listen to it But this time You get to speak Here in this dark The doors…

NO VITALS

Maybe the words won’t flow There is no waterfall No marching syllables Maybe the sigh doesn’t come There is no gentle breeze No soft release of air Maybe the eyes can’t see There is no rising sun No focused images Maybe there is no beat There is no thunder No vital signs

TRYING

Did I do it right? Am I doing it right? How many times do I ask myself or God this question everyday? My perspective changes. My opinion changes. There is no right or wrong there is only what I did and what I will do. I question my choices hoping to get wiser and smarter…

AT THE BOTTOM OF THE END

There is an edge To my sorrows I dare not trust Like a creaky bridge It sways precariously With each step I take Like a dark tunnel Promising monsters Where the silence Eats your screams Or a high ledge That is crumbling Beneath your feet And I know If I get close enough If I…

YESTERDAY’S ALTER

When finally, finally I had opened my eyes I could feel the spiders scurry from their webs And cockroaches who had thought me dead Scuttled frantically from under my bones I felt like a pile of sawdust waiting for the wind To come along and sweep me into a hurricane Back into the chaos from…

MEASURING GROWTH

Every year, about this time, I start falling hopelessly into a past that nearly killed me. 2011 was the year I turned 40. It was a pretty strange year in that I was a totally different person than I had been previously. I had lost 100 lbs and had made lots of new friends. It’s…

LIVING IS A CHOICE

Living is a choice Every single time And it’s been awhile Since I imagined death I wanted to know How the water would feel If I breathed it in I’ve heard it hurts But only for a moment And then I wondered If it would matter If it would hurt anyone And I couldn’t imagine…

THE EMPTY SPACE

We were taking pictures. It was a fun night. But with most fun nights where I was hanging out with friends the anxiety was intense. I look at this picture and I see it. That fraction of a second right before the big smile that says “life is good and I am good”. Except I…