As much as I’ve read and as much as I’ve dealt with my own situation I’m still shocked at how certain things will trigger me. Each time I’m telling myself to just get over it already. Yes, as a victim I tell myself that. I’m ashamed and infuriated that some things still attack the parts…
I remember the exact moment it felt like everything in my life changed. It was like a strange shift. A falling through floors. As if destiny was reaching out urging me to take its hand. To be honest, that night was blurry as though I wasn’t in my right mind or had too much to…
I started writing over a decade ago. Just started this blog one day and started writing. No game plan other than to write. I was tired of trying to drown my thoughts out with music. Tired of trying to explain how torturous my thoughts were to those close to me. Tired of feeling…
It’s the kind of fog that stole my breath Thick and shadowy Dark skulking movements that stuck to my skin. Ominous and dangerous It held the memory of every broken scream I hated this kind of fog And for the longest time It’s the only kind I knew It swallowed the sun leaving me isolated,…
It’s a bit unsettling Knowing she’s still A part of me I know how strong And fierce she is Like a glowing ember She is fully awake Just waiting to burn This house I’ve built To protect myself From her brutality *I’d be foolish to believe I’ve beaten depression. She will always be waiting for…
The snow Dropped quietly Covering Everything Beautiful Majestic But… Someday She whispered Soft and quiet Like the snow Someday The cold will melt The wet will dry And my breath Will float away Without freezing Again… Someday It’s so hard being a mom. Or at least a mom who cares. My girl is nearly 15…
Can inconsistency be a trauma? The way he said he loved me The way his eyes devoured me How his hands moved over me I remember feeling so high Destination cloud nine please He did everything right Made me lemon squares Opened my doors for me Dressed up to take me out “Let’s just drive…
They call it adrenaline But it’s just chemical fear I can taste it on my tongue Feel it speed through veins Like alcohol, thin and sharp It churns in my stomach Makes my nerves radiate And then… I’m a machine I’m not me… I’m a robot Something more innate Wakes up and steps up And…
It’s known that hurting people hurt other people. Intentionally and unintentionally. Your traumas will always be a part of you but you get to decide how you carry them. Do you learn from them? Do you let them change you into a better more loving, compassionate, and giving person? Or do you carry them in…
My thoughts, so many Hung like strings Dripping a quality I could not pinpoint I felt at this moment I must bear fully The abrupt pains They presented Like unwelcome visitors Of the utmost distinction Like fraying golden threads In a very important seam However, I couldn’t shake The scheming I felt Attached to…
HASTYWORDS 