Life is hard.

Just navigating all the necessary bullshit is frustrating enough. I can do without all the unnecessary stuff. Gossip, rumors, competition, backbiting, jealousy…

Wouldn’t it be nice to be able to distinguish a person’s real intent just by looking at them?

What happened to authenticity?

Sometimes I feel like asking people to fill out a short questionnaire before they ask for advice.  Do you really need help or do you have another motive for contacting me?  Do you really like my writing or are you looking for something a bit more lascivious?

Sometimes people contact me because of who I know.  After some sweet compliments on my writing they want to know if so and so has a boyfriend, and if I can introduce them.  It isn’t that I mind doing that but I do mind the niceties beforehand.  Maybe they feel it is polite.  Personally, I would rather them get to the point.

For instance, a man contacts me on Facebook and his first word is Hi.  I usually ignore a simple Hi unless it is followed up with a request, or a reason for contact.  This particular man said Hi several times before he just cut to the chase and said SEX.  Well… I respected the communication.  I blocked him.  But I respected it.

Then you have both men and women who will flirt and participate in an online mating ritual just for show.  Attention seekers who play with another person’s emotions for appearance, likes, promotion, or to foster jealousy. Whatever the reason, it isn’t genuine and that always leads to drama and hurt.

It is hard to know who your friends are.  I am not talking about all those people on your Facebook or Twitter friends list.  I am talking about a friend being someone you have a strong liking for and would put your trust in.  I have a small handful of friends.

I know they are friends because they don’t spend time gossiping or cultivating rumors about other people.  They are supporting their friends instead of constantly competing with them.

I don’t always get it right.  I am not always a good friend.  Sometimes I really suck at being a supportive friend.  I think it is because I am adverse to becoming an unwitting accomplice to another person’s agenda.  I always strive to do the right thing or to give good advice.  But it isn’t always so simple.

Life is hard. Just navigating all the necessary bullshit is frustrating enough. We could all do the world a favor by being more genuine.

More authentic.



  1. Fucking snakes. Anybody and everybody who gossips about others to you, is gossiping about you to others. Destroying friendships and starting wars and sewing mistrust. It’s pure evil, and nobody needs these people.

    Liked by 2 people

    • It makes life hard. Harder than necessary. This kind of behavior really does start wars. There is a selfish desire that fuels this machine and the only way to shut it down is…. to ignore it.


  2. I get hazy where lines and boundaries are concerned. I wish I could say I try not to badmouth people, and I CERTAINLY don’t go out of my way to create drama or stir trouble behind people’s backs, but I also think there’s a time for frankness and opinion, which may involve other people, and be shared with other, trusted ones.

    I think sometimes that I think I’m a better person than I really am. YOU though, are most definitely better than you think you are 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  3. I understand where you are coming from. It’s very hard to tell who’s being authentic at times. It is confusing and hurtful when you find out someone was hiding their true self. I’m glad you have a good group of friends who you can trust. I have this too. Even though it is hard to always be the friend everyone needs, you try and that’s important.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. People should realize that the unique person they are is worth celebrating. This kind of behavior often comes as from a root of insecurity. (the gossip etc.)

    As for being nice with someone just so you can ask favors, well let’s just say I have a genuine problem when it comes to trusting people. 😦

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I could not have said it better! I know the sex thing is far for common for women, but it does happen once in a while to men. Many men find such as proof of their “studlinrss”, butmI rather find it annoying and offensive. Does that make me less of a “man”? No, I think it makes me more authentic because I’m not interested in some skank who speaks her reverse clothes pin. Sorry for the frank words, but that’s just how I feel. Nobody deserves to have a seemingly friendly conversation – be it online or in person – turn to sex. It’s just rude.

    Yes, it is hard to know who your friends are. Many times, I have been thrown under the proverbial bud by “friends” – it hurts a lot. People think I’m distant and aloof, I’m really not, I’m observing. When you get burned enough, sadly, you tend to be suspicious of another’s intent and look for the next person who is going to screw you over so you can avoid them. It isn’t a way to live, but it’s what you do when you’ve been the victim of gossip, bullshit, you name it. You want to live and love unbridled, but it’s hard to do

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I feel the same way. I was recently let down by two people that I considered my friends. These women have a great talk, and they took what they needed and I haven’t heard from them again. Now they continue to preach their women empowering other women and I’m over here like, wow you crushed me.”

    Had they have just been honest and said this is what we would like from you can we have it, I would have given it to them, don’t pretend to be my friend and then stab me in the back. People are hurtful and cruel. I don’t understand people like that.

    Wow, obviously that needed to come out.

    You on the other hand are the real deal. A heart that knows other’s pain, empathy, compassion and kindness. We all have our off days, and that’s okay. But you are a true authentic soul.

    Liked by 1 person

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