COMPLEX SIMPLICITY

It’s so complex At first glance Overwhelming Hard to grasp Too many Variables Options Buts and ifs And… ands It’s complex Until you dig in Cut into it Rip it apart Until it’s simple Solveable Actionable Easy peasy

DISTORTED

So many colors Melt into my eyes Absorbing the light And transforming it Distorting it Then transporting it Into bundles Small and nondescript Barely noticeable Into the universe Of black and white

GATE TO HELL

My eyes traced the concrete fractures  This is where the dread and unease  Detonate the fear I’ve been hiding Rough edges jagging into erratic lines Deep, dark, wide gaps that if stepped on  Would break your mother’s back  And conjure an army of fiends Of monsters and ogres, of ghosts Cracks that if tread upon…

UNSETTLING

It’s a bit unsettling Knowing she’s still A part of me I know how strong And fierce she is Like a glowing ember She is fully awake Just waiting to burn This house I’ve built To protect myself From her brutality *I’d be foolish to believe I’ve beaten depression. She will always be waiting for…

CHEMICAL FEAR

They call it adrenaline But it’s just chemical fear I can taste it on my tongue Feel it speed through veins Like alcohol, thin and sharp It churns in my stomach Makes my nerves radiate And then… I’m a machine I’m not me… I’m a robot Something more innate Wakes up and steps up And…

ABSURD COBWEBS

  My thoughts, so many Hung like strings Dripping a quality I could not pinpoint I felt at this moment I must bear fully The abrupt pains They presented Like unwelcome visitors Of the utmost distinction Like fraying golden threads In a very important seam However, I couldn’t shake The scheming I felt Attached to…

THE MOLD MONSTER

I woke up after a long night of tossing and turning. Dreams of self-hate, disrespect, mistrust and betrayal. It felt… familiar. Like the beginning of something I still had control of. Once I woke I identified the core feelings I needed to work on. Now I’ll work through them and get a nap later. Depression…

WHERE NOTHING LIVES

The whispers dissipate Like shadows, melting On frosted window panes And the words free fall Like snowflakes filling in A million hollow footsteps Where will the tears go Or the laughter we sowed Where will the kisses land Or the hugs that we loved Where will the words go When all the ears go deaf…

SHE’S WORRY

Worry is a creative soul Knocking sense around Like alphabet blocks Building wooden castles Stuffing them with dreams Just to watch them burn Carrying extra demons In case the devil alone Isn’t enough to destroy The human she’s become

THE DIRT SHIFTS

#OctPoWriMo2018 I am dedicating October to the reason I started my blog.  Depression.  It’s the scariest thing I have ever had to deal with.  It is still the scariest thing I have to deal with. Depression is a constant.  It will never go away.  It snuck up on me.  I was always anxious but depression……