ISOLATION

When I experienced bad bouts of anxiety and depression I would isolate.  I still do.  Avoid socializing.  Avoid commitment.  Avoid stimulation.  I would escape into my own head and look for comfort there.  But I would never find it. When someone with depression reaches out to talk and they are scolded or told to just…

DEADLY ESCAPISM

It’s been awhile since I’ve had the time to blog.  You get divorced, become a single parent, and the whole world changes.  BUT I feel I finally have things pulled together enough to come back.  I miss you!   I started a YOUTUBE channel where I basically just read my poetry.  So much harder than…

IMPULSES

They lie static without Tethered to wanting Refraining from light The length grows wide And steps grow dark As they run into eyes That can’t see anymore As they slump under And fall into holes That were never dug Just born from life Having been betrayed Where revenge lurks And storms grow Into electrical impulses

HOPELESS

The curve winds around Like a snake that slithers Underneath my veins I can’t feel the motion Or understand why It’s wrapping itself Around my everyday But it’s dragging me From my focus And pulling me From my slumber Waiting inside my joints Trying to convince me It’s all hopeless

KEEP ON KEEPING ON

I can’t keep up Though I step up And throw down Every single second I’m struggling Just to show up Trying not to give up And people keep Speaking and screaming And I keep on Dodging the words That they keep on Spitting up But I’m scared dude Mother fucking Full of fear accrued Amplified…

BREATHING ASHES

Anarchy Steps heavy with Steel toed boots Torches replace Keystrokes Wooden stakes Carved into words Skewering insides Turning logic Into a constant Trickling streams Of overdosed panic Invisible blood Flows thick Drawing poison From weak souls Until the puss Runs sticky And thoughts sit Restless In puddles Of old and dried Scabby wounds Until remorse Draws clarity…

LIQUID PRISMS

Liquid prisms Caught the light Falling desperately Sounding like Shattering glass Shards of hope Splintering on Checkered floors Black and white Copyrights Stepping on Red carpets Unfolding Flawed Unraveling Lazily across Pressure points Where mean girls Wait to draw blood And where dreams Drown in the prisms Of so many tears

WHEN YOU ARE DEAD

When you are dead You don’t care That blemish Just a blemish Your weight Just a number The gossip Just stories The haters Just puppets When you are dead The dreams Are just movies The hopes Just a waste of time The work Just distraction When you are dead If you could wish And you…

TRIGGERS

Certain names Just the spelling of them Or the places you see them Or the context which they’re placed Make you want to slit your wrists Certain scenes Remind you that you are garbage A piece of trash, disposable, used A pile of shit to be carefully avoided Or even worse Turn you into the…

I BLAME MYSELF

Seems I have a lot on my mind today.  I hope you don’t mind me working through my own issues with you.  Maybe you can add your two cents.  Help me… help myself. What does it mean to take responsibility? For someone who gets it wrong quite often for one reason or another I’ve had…