THE SPIRIT HERO Written by Gretchen Kellaway

Blogger at: How My Brain Works

In loving Memory of Jake Bodine, my friend, my brother, my muse. And to all the demon warriors, who found a way to release their spirits from the battles. To all those who are still fighting!

This was inspired by my brother Jake who took his life after a long battle with schizophrenia. He was an artist, a free-spirited, hippie, who loved nature and people. Mental illness took that away from him and I will forever be a fighter against these demons that claim those who will never know a cure.

His soul was like his paintings,
Filled with color and swirling light.
His mind was a turmoil of emotion,
Mental demons, black and white.
They whispered softly beckoning,
Digging in and reaching out.
Till their control took hold forever,
Seizing and conquering the beautiful soul.

Creative, free flowing spirit,
Became stilted and mechanical device.
As the medication would close up his spirit,
To chain up the demons plight.

No smiles were seen for this future,
No art created like before.
Yet he fought those demons with fervor,
Stomping them down into the floor.

The years passed and there was never a better
Just a long dark hallway of ifs.
The questions that remained unanswered,
The knowledge that he would only exist.
Never live in a cloud of normalcy
Never fall in love so quick and so fast.
The demons kept beckoning him forward.
We lost him too soon from their blast.

You could no longer see him in rainbows
One side was always painted to show,
That his spirit was bleeding and suffering
And his soul was black, bile and cold.
He fought as long as he could,
He danced back and forth through it all.

Yet the truth is that the battle was over,
Way before it had ever begun.
The warrior was now weary,
His control was diminished and bruised.
There was little else to relieve him
As the demons forced him to listen
Their song was a luring old tune.
Although the shadows kept falling, his eyes would cry out for help.
We had no clue what we could have given,
But our love until the end.
In my heart he will forever be my hero,
My muse, my friend.

The demons thought they had won this battle,
They succeeded in breaking our hearts.
But he was the one who was victorious in the end.
He charted his course, he found his escape
So that his spirit could paint once again.