My RELATIONSHIPS ARE HARD guest today is Nicole Lyons.

It would be an understatement to say she means a lot to me.  She means a lot to many people.  She has had many kind words for me when I needed them most.

This piece is all too common.  These situations are traumatic.  I know.  I have been there.  Many of my friends have been there.

Sometimes broken people try to break other people.  Maybe it makes them feel less alone.  Maybe they are just shitty broken people.  I am a broken person but I choose to mend.

We are all broken somehow.  We can spend our time breaking others or we can spend time healing them in the hopes we can be less broken over time.

Nicole thank you for writing this.  I am so glad you didn’t allow her to break you.  Thank you for being broken like me and using your broken pieces to mend others.  I love you.

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She was lovely, with eyes so large and blue they appeared otherworldly; luminous pools – warm – like her heart.

Twirling and spinning, her lithe body swayed. Playful and free she was everything I once was. There was no jealousy between us, this wild creature, and me only love; she was the damaged yet free girl I used to be.

How could I not envelope her into my life? Long summer days spent lounging and giggling brought us back to our younger years. For once I opened up, trusting her as she willed me to tell her about the problems at home.

She requited with her own stories of a past filled with horrors, none of which I had faced now. I listened to the terrifying tales she told me of the abuse she had endured. My heart bled for the broken girl I could see behind the saucer eyes; the one desperate to find a connection that she could hold onto, something safe, someone to love her, someone to take her pain away.

Our connection grew strong and fast. Our daughters, so much like the two of us were inseparable, and they loved each other without limits. We brought our families together as well, something new for my husband as we keep to ourselves. The first time we had welcomed someone new into our lives and a connection was fast all around.

In an instant it was shattered. The connection is too strong. Our connection is weak. Maybe she has been brought here not to remind us of what I once was, but to remind him of what he needs. Maybe our connection is gone. Maybe we have let it fizzle. Maybe she is perfection and I have failed again.

She smiles, “tell me a secret.” I curl my lips in a snarl and tell her, “I would wrap my hot hands around your throat and squeeze while I watched your lying eyes bulge, and I would do so with pleasure.” She sits in my home, smiling her lying smile, not knowing that while I fight for my family he is still honest with me. “Nothing has happened, though she has tried.” She looks at me in stunned silence, “maybe I should leave.” 

She has told him all of my secrets in hopes that he would leave and choose her. She was more damaged and broken than I ever was. I have no sympathy. She is not human, she is not beautiful, and she is not kind. She is venom

She was lovely, with eyes so large and blue they appeared otherworldly; crystalline icicles – cold – like her heart.

Twirling and spinning, casting her malevolent glow around those she embraced. She was a modern day enchantress, her illusions of affection as deadly and beautiful as a black widow’s silky web.

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Nicole is the mommy to two gorgeous and brilliant little girls who often almost drive her to drink. Her best friend is a 170lb Bullmastiff named Capone and she believes the world can be changed one small random act of kindness at a time. She’s a hippie at heart with a gypsy soul and she tries to spread love and light wherever she goes — when she’s not at home being an introvert. You can find her over at thelithiumchronicles.org or on her Facebook Pagewww.facebook.com/TheLithiumChronicles.