I am so happy to be presenting today’s guest blogger. He is not only funny but I really love his attitude about life and family. I have a soft spot for present, loving, and silly fathers and I encourage you to check out his blog where you can follow his adventures in fatherhood. Please support Briton ” PUNK ROCK PAPA ” Underwood.
There used to be a set day on Punk Rock Papa I affectionately called #MamaMonday. For new readers you might not remember it, I haven’t done it in awhile. No, I haven’t forgotten the greatness of moms! I actually plan on bringing it back every Monday before being swept up in some adventure, be it Original Bunker Punks, writing here, writing there, my kids- something comes up!
The whole point of the day once a week was to highlight mothers, because I believe they don’t get highlighted enough by their parent counterpart.
At some point I guess I soared into the sun, left MamaMonday behind and stopped my one day a week to cherish one of the most important roles ever assumed.
Sometimes we forget to cherish those things that matter the most in our lives. A day without a kiss or an “I love you” seems like no big deal. Until it grows into weeks, months of forgetting to acknowledge what makes those important to you special in your eyes.
I made MamaMonday to highlight the one woman in my life who has never left me to feel abandoned, who has fiercely loved her kids and who passionately runs her household.
MamaMonday was for my wife.
I have never been good with talking about myself. When I write on my page or in a blog it’s me expressing all these emotions that I don’t feel comfortable saying out loud.
Deeply rooted fears of showing who I am and being misunderstood or rejected?
Flashbacks to opening up to people and not being accepted
It’s just who I am. Simple as that. We could dig and sift through every instance in my life, searching fervently for some sort of reason. I am beyond the point in my life where I feel the need to attach a blame to something so I can “heal”
Everyone has problems. No one likes to be vulnerable. No one likes to feel unwanted or rejected. It’s not about how someone was raised.
Who do you know that goes “Yeah! I put myself out there and the person laughed in my face! Let’s do it again!”
We all yearn for that special feeling. Love, as it’s called. We YEARN for it. In the absence of love we find our soul starving, eating at itself as we wonder why no one wants us.
When I say companionship I don’t specifically mean a spouse. It could be your God, it could be your kids, it could be a special friend. We all want to feel connected to something, to someone. We want to feel like if we were falling and flailing out someone would grab our hand and save us from the darkness.
And then we find that person! It’s beautiful! Months turn into years. Suddenly, we absentmindedly forget a kiss or an “I love you”.
First time is just a day.
The next time is for a week.
The next, who knows?
We constantly forget the little things to the point we are so blinded with flashes of pure white anger that we shout at the person whom we love,
“I FUCKING HATE YOU”
And they shout it back.
And hearts break simultaneously.
And souls begin eating and gnawing at themselves, looking for some left over remnants of love to subsist on.
We let the little things build up. People talk about how couples will fight about the little things or that it’s the little things that drove them from a person. They never mention that it’s a big pile of little things. That the little things have accumulated into such a vast mountain. That because there are so many little things you can’t even see the person you love anymore. You see a mistake. You see a waste of time.
You see a waste of time.
And it all started from a missed moment here or there. A missed moment that snowballed into shattered hearts and tear stained cheeks.
From being busy or letting other little things get in the way.
The first time you miss it is a day.
The next is a week.
The next who knows.
Briton “Punk Rock Papa” Underwood is a proud Parent, Writer and Original Bunker Punk. His passion for writing is second only to his passion for parenting. Co-founder of the Original Bunker Punks, Punk Rock Papa enjoys helping people’s thoughts, stories and emotions be heard. You can find him on his personal blog or on the Original Bunker Punks writing about what he loves, the people around him.