I am so happy to be presenting today’s guest blogger. He is not only funny but I really love his attitude about life and family. I have a soft spot for present, loving, and silly fathers and I encourage you to check out his blog where you can follow his adventures in fatherhood. Please support Briton ” PUNK ROCK PAPA ” Underwood.
There used to be a set day on Punk Rock Papa I affectionately called #MamaMonday. For new readers you might not remember it, I haven’t done it in awhile. No, I haven’t forgotten the greatness of moms! I actually plan on bringing it back every Monday before being swept up in some adventure, be it Original Bunker Punks, writing here, writing there, my kids- something comes up!
The whole point of the day once a week was to highlight mothers, because I believe they don’t get highlighted enough by their parent counterpart.
At some point I guess I soared into the sun, left MamaMonday behind and stopped my one day a week to cherish one of the most important roles ever assumed.
Sometimes we forget to cherish those things that matter the most in our lives. A day without a kiss or an “I love you” seems like no big deal. Until it grows into weeks, months of forgetting to acknowledge what makes those important to you special in your eyes.
I made MamaMonday to highlight the one woman in my life who has never left me to feel abandoned, who has fiercely loved her kids and who passionately runs her household.
MamaMonday was for my wife.
I have never been good with talking about myself. When I write on my page or in a blog it’s me expressing all these emotions that I don’t feel comfortable saying out loud.
Deeply rooted fears of showing who I am and being misunderstood or rejected?
Flashbacks to opening up to people and not being accepted
Abandonment issues?
It’s just who I am. Simple as that. We could dig and sift through every instance in my life, searching fervently for some sort of reason. I am beyond the point in my life where I feel the need to attach a blame to something so I can “heal”
Everyone has problems. No one likes to be vulnerable. No one likes to feel unwanted or rejected. It’s not about how someone was raised.
Who do you know that goes “Yeah! I put myself out there and the person laughed in my face! Let’s do it again!”
We all yearn for that special feeling. Love, as it’s called. We YEARN for it. In the absence of love we find our soul starving, eating at itself as we wonder why no one wants us.
When I say companionship I don’t specifically mean a spouse. It could be your God, it could be your kids, it could be a special friend. We all want to feel connected to something, to someone. We want to feel like if we were falling and flailing out someone would grab our hand and save us from the darkness.
And then we find that person! It’s beautiful! Months turn into years. Suddenly, we absentmindedly forget a kiss or an “I love you”.
First time is just a day.
The next time is for a week.
The next, who knows?
We constantly forget the little things to the point we are so blinded with flashes of pure white anger that we shout at the person whom we love,
“I FUCKING HATE YOU”
And they shout it back.
And hearts break simultaneously.
And souls begin eating and gnawing at themselves, looking for some left over remnants of love to subsist on.
We let the little things build up. People talk about how couples will fight about the little things or that it’s the little things that drove them from a person. They never mention that it’s a big pile of little things. That the little things have accumulated into such a vast mountain. That because there are so many little things you can’t even see the person you love anymore. You see a mistake. You see a waste of time.
You see a waste of time.
And it all started from a missed moment here or there. A missed moment that snowballed into shattered hearts and tear stained cheeks.
From being busy or letting other little things get in the way.
The first time you miss it is a day.
The next is a week.
The next who knows.
Briton “Punk Rock Papa” Underwood is a proud Parent, Writer and Original Bunker Punk. His passion for writing is second only to his passion for parenting. Co-founder of the Original Bunker Punks, Punk Rock Papa enjoys helping people’s thoughts, stories and emotions be heard. You can find him on his personal blog or on the Original Bunker Punks writing about what he loves, the people around him.
HASTYWORDS 
For someone who isn’t comfortable opening up he does a pretty marvellous job of it. Lovely words and thoughts.
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Its taken me a long time to do! I feel like with writing I can say how I feel or open up without having to look someone in the face. Its just my words and me, and others are able to take what they will from it. Thanks for taking the time to read this!
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And those are really good things to say, all too easily lost in everyday life.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
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There is so much truth here, it’s all made of #Win. I firmly belive my husband and I have lasted as long as we have (we’re pushing up on our 14th Wedding Annv)…only because we never forget to say “I love you.” We don’t go to bed angry & don’t leave each other without a kiss–be it a quick peck or something more involved. While it doesn’t happen as often any more, due to a whole string of unavoidable circumstances, we always try to make time with each other–be it just a trip to the store, or a quick dinner out.
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Im so happy you enjoyed it! Its absolutely key to remember the little kisses and love you’s
Thanks so much for reading!
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Briton, this is gorgeous, and you’re right – once the rot of neglect sets in, it’s a trend which is difficult to reverse. Your reminder is very poignant. Thank you. And kudos to you for making sure your wife is reminded by you how much she matters to you 🙂 You’re an inspiration.
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Thanks so much Lizzie! I have the good fortune of being with a woman who supports and inspires me!
Rot of neglect- Hasty we have to steal this and put it in the blog! Lizzie will never know…oh hi Lizzie didnt realize you were still here. Oops!
Thanks for reading and for commenting!
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*blows raspberries* :p
I think it’s a real thing, though, and an easy trap to fall into when you begin taking someone for granted, and neglecting to remember just how special it is that they’ve chosen to share their life with you, in whatever capacity. I know I’m guilty of it!
Your wife is lucky that you know how good you have it. I hope she realises the same 🙂
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People are often surprised when my husband and I answer their question about how long we have been married – 23 years. They had assumed we had been married for a much shorter time. I think it is because we hold one another’s hands a lot, we smile all the time when we are together, and we each go with the other to places we might not otherwise go – I to the auto museum where he volunteers and he to Sons of Norway events (he’s British). They don’t see the number of times we say “I love you” to one another or hug one another, two other keys to our being happy together. They also don’t see the arguments, but they don’t last long.
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You are so, so right. Most often it isn’t a catastrophic event that forms the gap. It’s a shit ton of little things that are done and tolerated without so much as a word, or important small things not said or done. Good for you for doing those things and realizing what you have in your wife. I’m sure she realizes she’s just as blessed to have you. And those babies? Blessed to have you both.
I’d say for a guy who has trouble saying what he feels you knocked this one out of the park!
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*looks around*
I’m just here because I was told there would be beer.
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I know all about missed moments. I pray you always remember how you feel today, and never let a moment go by.
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you are blowin’ my mind… makes me sort of sorry I spend so much time doing a silly comedy blog and only letting the parts of me like this out now and then.
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Your words ring true and tugged at my heart strings as tonight wasn’t a night I want to remember. So on that note and your beautiful writing has inspired me to just forgive and forget and move on to all that love and acceptance awaiting me. Thank you Papa for wonderful you. 😃
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