A few weeks ago, I was standing in line to buy my lunch when an elderly lady suggested, “You could be very pretty if you tried!”
Wait, what??
Granted, I decided to wear a sweater that was a bit over-sized, I opted to wear my glasses over my contacts, and my choice to wear very little make-up this particular day wouldn’t win any Cover Girl contests.
As I stood processing her comment it seemed like time stood still. I wasn’t sure if this complete stranger was criticizing me or complimenting me. I think I expected her to hand me a brochure with the latest and greatest in makeup technology. In the end, I decided to just smile and say “thank you” and accept it as a compliment. But in all honesty, the comment just keeps bouncing around in my head and like a ping-pong ball.
Can I be pretty if I try?
I am 40 and I am seriously still asking myself this question. Didn’t I come to terms a long time ago that I was beautiful in my own way?
I am having trouble aging. I never thought I would dread the crow’s feet or the less-than-elastic skin. But here I sit looking longingly at pictures of the past wishing I would have enjoyed being in my younger skin more than I did
.
I should have gone skinny dipping that time all my friends did but I felt too fat and pale. I should have kissed more boys and broke more hearts… any boys… any hearts. I should have worn more sleeveless tops, more short shorts. I should have secretly taken naked pictures and then been proud of them if they ever surfaced years later – except in my day pictures had to be taken to a third party to be developed.
I am not saying I should have been slutty but what I am saying is: I should have LOVED my clear complexion, my soft skin, my young figure when everything was perfectly aligned before gravity took its toll.
Sometimes I can win this particular ping-pong match going on in my head by asking myself a few questions. First, who are the most beautiful people I know personally? The list was very easy to establish and included both genders of varying ages. I then listed qualities about them that I felt made them beautiful to me.
I discovered what I am pretty sure I knew all along. The qualities were not skin deep; they were personality traits. Although I am surrounded by gorgeous, easy on the eyes people, what makes them beautiful is their genuine smile, their sincere laughter, their giving hearts, their caring hugs.
I feel, in the end, my beauty on this day was not found by what the eyes could see, but what the ears could hear, a graceful response of “Thank you!”
I am the most beautiful kind of ugly!
HASTYWORDS 
You are pretty. I can’t stand it when people say rude things like that.
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What makes this woman think she has the right to say that to a complete stranger? I admire your restraint and the way you kept your dignity with a simple “thank you”
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good call. give her the benefit of the doubt.
you know, acc-en-tu-ate the positive!
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Your graceful and well spoken response makes you more beautiful and refined than many of the so called ” beautiful” people out there. Thanks for sharing this post.
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people are usually stupid and what comes out of their mouths is proof….turn the other cheek girlie! good post!
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Isn’t it funny how shallow our gut can be? I’m sure I would have reacted in the same way… first to doubt and then swimming to the surface of what I REALLy value. But those things hurt. Who made her queen anyway?
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Brava hastywords. That’s all I can say. Your perspective, in light of it all, is perfect. We are each perfection in the eyes God, all we need do is look in the same mirror! I love my crows feet and not so elastic skin for the simple reason that I’ve lived long enough to ‘deserve’ them. Besides…what is the alternative? Exactly! Stay beautiful.
Rhonda
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good reply would’ve been – “when do YOU plan to try?”
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The horribly UGLY side of me wanted to say, Yes but you can’t get any younger……UGH horrible horrible.
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Haha, idd Rich….that would have been an awesome reply!
And i´m sorry Hasty, but i couldn´t restrain from laughing a bit when i read the post. Crazy old lady…..! And the ping-pong…hehe.
I can almost feel the strange feeling you got inside when she said like that, stupid lady, BUT i don´t think she ment it in a bad way tho. She probably saw your genuine beauty that would bloom even more if you “tried”. DON´T GET ME WRONG here 🙂
She probably just have a bad way to say things (as me sometimes, who entangle my own tounge with my own thoughts til i´ve finally got the right words out, in the right order, and in the right time without making anyone upset).
Sooooo, keep your head high and think about how beautiful you are, and how stunning awesome you would have become if you really made your best (you know…all girly stuff…). 🙂
But in my own opinion i think women are the most beautiful with no fancy stuff or makeup at all! Natural is the shit! 🙂
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definitely. natural. i don’t care about hair color or boob size. i don’t want surprises. i just want real people.
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Healthy attitude! 🙂
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You look beautiful to me, not just the aesthetics, true beauty includes the mind. It is our good fortune that you are blessed with both.
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Thank you so much for the compliment 🙂
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Hi! Thanks for stopping by my blog. I think sometimes the older generation has a different defitnion of femininity, of beauty and what was/is required of women. It just fell out of her face, as it were. Women have defined themselves by how they appear for so very long; it’s a hard mindset to overcome. As I am now also in my 40s (ahem!), I find I am only now coming to terms with what I look like and am loving it.
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Interesting post…to be honest I think you were quite humble to just say ‘thank you’ , If it happened to be I probably wouldn`t have responded at all, (although she may have started to gesticulate and prod me with her walking stick- knowing my luck!) and left it at that…however, maybe the lady thought you were someone else, or just had some psychiatric problems or dementia…so don`t take it personal at all!
Keep up your excellent posts- they`re a breath of fresh air…beautiful & original! 🙂
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I definitely will! Your writing is excellent and topics are varied and I do enjoy your poems too (pesonal fav the Rainbow one). I look forward to your blog posts! 🙂
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