There is a field filled with small summer flowers. They feel soft beneath my bare feet. At first it’s all I notice. Color being crushed beneath my toes. Resilient little flowers. Not left bent and broken but springing back to life in my wake. Then sound. A rushing. Like a waterfall. A large, fast river…
Maybe the words won’t flow There is no waterfall No marching syllables Maybe the sigh doesn’t come There is no gentle breeze No soft release of air Maybe the eyes can’t see There is no rising sun No focused images Maybe there is no beat There is no thunder No vital signs
I was in 7th grade Weighed 110 lbs I was eating lunch Minding my own When a boy called me A fat cow and mooed Enter another boy Out of nowhere I didn’t know Had never seen Who stood up for me Curly blonde hair Tall and adorable He sat next to me Said I…
My first crush Took my milk money In second grade In exchange for a kiss His brother found out And he told my parents And I got grounded I don’t remember the kiss But I remember his name His name was Chuck I learned not to buy kisses The best kisses are free *Tell me…
When finally, finally I had opened my eyes I could feel the spiders scurry from their webs And cockroaches who had thought me dead Scuttled frantically from under my bones I felt like a pile of sawdust waiting for the wind To come along and sweep me into a hurricane Back into the chaos from…
So often I think about how connected we should all be. Not like the The Borg in Star Trek with it’s hive mind or anything but maybe more like a hive soul. It feels like when we let one child down we are letting all of humanity down. When we turn away a person in…
Silence has a sound If you listen Does it sound like peace Quiet breathing Content thoughts Kind memories Your own heartbeat Or is it loud Electrical humming Chaos echoing A chorus of voices That sound like you? Berating you? Scolding you? Questioning you? And then answering you? Internal silence doesn’t exist And sometimes it asks…
It’s a fight. Sometimes I freeze Watch the storm come Glued to my spot I know what it brings I know it’s bigger I know it’s stronger I know it’s dark And menacing And that I should run I know too It was inevitable That it would Come back for me And yet I’m frozen…
Maybe it’s destinyThat gently leadsUs into the futureWith invisible handsMore like tentaclesNudging us forwardPulling us backWhen we misstepPunishing usUntil we get it rightMaybe it’s destinyThat covers usUnder blanketsSo dark we can’t seeSqueezing usUntil we can’t breatheCausing us to begFor mercyJust a tiny reprieveFrom the voidIt tortures us withSucking from usPathetic promisesIt knows we won’t keepJust…
I forget how depression feels sometimes. That’s dangerous. To forget isn’t an option. I have to remind myself how sneaky and insidious it is. I must remember what it felt like to be its prisoner. Depression as a room and me held captive against my will. I am so grateful to have escaped this room……
HASTYWORDS 