BREATHING ASHES

I think I can safely say, at least here in America, that society is triggered.  And it’s having a hard time finding its way back to a place where rational balance lives.  And who can blame us… we have a LOT to be triggered about. Anarchy Steps heavy with Steel toed boots Torches replace Keystrokes…

YOU’LL DIE FAT ON YOUR OWN PAIN

There are people who never learn to look forward. Past themselves. Past their own desires. Sacrifice is a word they’ve assigned false meaning to. They blame others for their failures. And even when they do blame themselves they desperately need someone else to do the work to save them. They seek to garner sympathy for…

DOT TO DOT

There is a line A small one Little dots Connecting Our thoughts Our good ones Our bad ones Those that cry Those that laugh Those that rage A constellation Of ideas Of memories Of reasoning That create The person We become That line Is who we are *Depression is a terrible thing. It’s as if…

THIS TRAGEDY

I see some things And my brain slips I hear things too And my mind trips I run like a kite Caught on a string My heart skips But mostly stutters And I am left Crashing on rocks Falling into Words that sting And I try hard To run from them But I can’t get…

PATIENT ENCOURAGEMENT

Some things are too painful and too hard to overcome without patient encouragement and love. I hope everyone who needs it can find it. It’s typically the impatient moments that rise to the surface and grab notoriety. The angry customer. The ranting neighbor. The crazy employee. People having trouble being rational because something has gotten…

MORE OR LESS

I don’t remember the first time I thought, “man I wish I could be more…”. More classy, more beautiful, more funny, more smart, more stable, more serious. I’ve lost count of how often I wished I was less messy, less emotional, less sad, less weak, less random, less awkward. Seems I’m constantly wishing I had…

CRITICAL VOICES

There are people everyday with a variety of mental disorders doing very courageous things by any standard. Focus on your abilities. Strengthen them. Starve the nasty voices in your head that say you aren’t good enough and feed the voices that are cheering you on. We all have that critical voice that seems to be…

DEPRESSION FLAVORED VODKA

#OctoWriMo2018 Day 2 One thing I’ve learned about MY depression is that being sober and staying away from alcohol is a MUST.  Alcohol is a depressant. You may feel ok for a short (very short while) but it is short lived and then you are worse off than you were. The best thing I ever…

THE DIRT SHIFTS

#OctPoWriMo2018 I am dedicating October to the reason I started my blog.  Depression.  It’s the scariest thing I have ever had to deal with.  It is still the scariest thing I have to deal with. Depression is a constant.  It will never go away.  It snuck up on me.  I was always anxious but depression……

ISOLATION

When I experienced bad bouts of anxiety and depression I would isolate.  I still do.  Avoid socializing.  Avoid commitment.  Avoid stimulation.  I would escape into my own head and look for comfort there.  But I would never find it. When someone with depression reaches out to talk and they are scolded or told to just…