I think God takes naps at 3 in the morning. It’s when I feel the most alone. The most broken. The most… scared. I remember the morning I had decided I should die. That moment is a part of who I am today. I think Death stalks me now. It won’t let me forget. Every…
I awaken to fog Like wooly fleece Or curdled milk I breathe it in And it clogs My airways It absorbs into All my pores And I leave The house With fog In my veins
I can feel you Balling up Like dry lint Collecting Bits of yourself Tiptoeing Around Gathering Strength But my brain Has creaky Well used Floorboards Mostly Because of you And I know Every single time I experience Self-doubt Or self-loathing You’ll be there To devour The scraps And I’ll be Fighting you Once again Someday…
I was alone and depressed Picking up pieces of glass A broken candle, shattered On my fancy bathroom floor I was in my fancy house Living my fancy life Trying to be a fancy wife Wearing fancy clothes And I’ve never been fancy Not fancy enough anyway I’m the clumsy kind That drops candles on…
What I’d like to tell you Will never pass my lips My words mean too much To end up changed, twisted Because that’s what you do Turn hankies into birds And people clap and cheer Then they point and jeer When you tell them I’m the one, the horrible one Turning birds into hankies When…
Twisted shadows Stain her eyes Feet buried In a satin hole Hands doing shots Of numbness Rusting guts No more triggers No more tears No more fixes Night falls A gauzy blur As eyelids Fall shut To glimmers Of light Sprouting As if rooted In glitter A reminder You hold a life To not fuck…
Don’t think Walk slow Stay steady Focus on steps Close off sound Close off smell Shallow breath Step into shower It’s cold Sharp inhale Shock Water warms Wash hair Wash body Then cry Cry harder Feel your body Shaking Breaking Washing down drain… No… Stop thinking Feel the water Stand until It grows cold again…
Sounds tend to throb Slightly muted Under the noise of Blood rushing A vibrating River Dulling my words I’m in here My eyes plead My hands reach My face contorts But my voice Is imprisoned By the sound Of my own pulse *NOTE There have been moments in the past that are hard to describe.…
I woke up seeing red Red fall trees dropping leaves Red lipstick stains on my pillow Red comforter piled on top of me The red blood Leaking from cracks Scratched onto my skin The red liquid on my nightstand The red behind my eyelids As I try to go back to sleep Hoping sleep will…
Daylight fades As the dark chases Mercy away It’s not night It’s darker Where choice Meets forever And says Goodnight One Last Time
HASTYWORDS 