The world says Emotion is ugly So… You cut out your eyes So tears can’t fall You cut out your voice So the words can’t come You cut off your hands So you can’t wring them You cut off your legs So you can’t crumple Only then will they say Wow You’re so beautiful I…
I kept beating it down My voice and its words To murder it into silence No thoughts, no thoughts Empty the passions Empty the knowledge Empty the fat ego Light the matches Then Let those things burn I’ve always been a super emotional person. Too much. Too much. It took years to train my external…
Caught in fabric Trying to escape Threads tangled And fraying Inside patterns That can’t speak That can’t feel That will never Breathe the same Ever again Ever feel there is just too much happening and you can’t move? Like you’re stuck in a pattern weaved long before you existed? I remember the first time I…
I can feel you Balling up Like dry lint Collecting Bits of yourself Tiptoeing Around Gathering Strength But my brain Has creaky Well used Floorboards Mostly Because of you And I know Every single time I experience Self-doubt Or self-loathing You’ll be there To devour The scraps And I’ll be Fighting you Once again Someday…
You can’t see it But I’m shaking inside If my body were earth You’d feel the quaking Tremors are splitting My insides are flayed I’ve been sitting alone For weeks now No For months now And the landscape of me Has changed drastically Whoever I was, destroyed Whoever emerges I hope she’s free * I…
I was alone and depressed Picking up pieces of glass A broken candle, shattered On my fancy bathroom floor I was in my fancy house Living my fancy life Trying to be a fancy wife Wearing fancy clothes And I’ve never been fancy Not fancy enough anyway I’m the clumsy kind That drops candles on…
I let my soul Slip out And it floated Like balloons Toward the sky And I cried Because It didn’t even Linger Didn’t care To say goodbye And that Is the story Of my life
Desiccation cracks, dry Weary and deep, dark Fill with blood, rust Swollen windows, running It’s raining again, bloody A pile of razors, tears As pain fades, into Drying sad skin, jagged Small little roadmaps, fissures Self damaged, eroding NOTE: I have been known in the past to self harm. It wasn’t often and only when…
Sitting on a wire Surrounded By a murder Without intent Just space Restless Above malcontent Ghosts Wearing flesh Pretending At purpose But failing Inside Their own Distractions NOTE: I am noticing how my brain slips easily into distraction when I’m about to experience a depressive episode. It’s as if I’m being prepared for the experience.…
Twisted shadows Stain her eyes Feet buried In a satin hole Hands doing shots Of numbness Rusting guts No more triggers No more tears No more fixes Night falls A gauzy blur As eyelids Fall shut To glimmers Of light Sprouting As if rooted In glitter A reminder You hold a life To not fuck…
HASTYWORDS 