I DON’T WANT DICK FROM YOU

/ January 29, 2016

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Approving your friend request does not give you permission to send me a dick pic.

Sure there are probably LOTS of people who would love to see your penis, but I am not one of them.  IF I want to see it, I promise I will use my words and ask for it.  IN FACT, I think you should ALWAYS wait for someone to use their words formally asking to see whatever it is you want to show off.

This is not me being prude.  It is absurd and ridiculous to blame me for your inappropriate behavior.  For those of you that tell me it isn’t a big deal, that it is my problem, and that I should just block them and move on… NO.  It is a big deal.  I mean the problem… not the penis.

This isn’t really even ABOUT the penis.  It’s a body part.  I don’t really give a crap if you have one or what it looks like.

What it is about is RESPECT!

What happened to CONSENT?!?!

Society has gotten to the point that we don’t deal with inappropriate behavior.  We say things like it’s a free country, it isn’t really hurting anyone, or someone else will deal with it.  Or maybe we are too embarrassed to acknowledge the behavior.  Important boundaries are being erased and we are letting it happen.

Yesterday I approved a friend request on Facebook and…

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Now,  this is probably not his real name.  What followed his last text was a picture of his schlong.  And then a few more DMs asking what I thought of his pride and joy, and saying how much he loved me.  I never responded again but instead tagged him on Facebook and wrote this publicly…

Mohamed Bey you should be ashamed of yourself. Find someone else to harass with your unsolicited penis picture.

Approving a friend request is NOT the same as saying please show me your junk. Just no. Stop it!!

I then blocked him.

Why did this particular exchange upset me more than all the other ones?  Because I said NO.  Not once, but three times.

I blamed myself, and was in fact ashamed, for being raped when I was 18.  So maybe I am overly sensitive.  NO.  Screw that.  I am not overly sensitive.

It took two decades to realize that just the word NO should have been respected. It should be one of the most powerful words in the human language. But that word isn’t given the respect it should demand.

I owe the younger generation of men and women (which includes my daughter) more than just a passive block.  NO really should be heard, and it really does mean NO.  There is no such thing as NO meaning YES.

NO means NO.

If you are confused about this, or are using NO to mean YES, then you are part of the problem.  The word NO is very simple.  NO should not be a confusing word.

 

 

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47 thoughts on “I DON’T WANT DICK FROM YOU”

  3. Gross gross gross piece of shit.
    Hopefully, that IS his real name. Clearly, he is as narrow minded as he projected himself.
    I’m sorry that ass hole triggered you. What a waste. – Jain

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  4. Disgusting human being!! I’m glad you called him out! Too often we’re embarrassed and just want to sweep this under the rug, but exposing him publicly will hopefully shame him into not trying this again!

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  5. Never having considered sending random people a picture of my sexual organs, I find it difficult to comprehend why some men do exactly that. I can only assume that what they are actually trying to communicate is that as people they are dicks but they lack the linguistic ability to convey it and have to resort to gross imagery. :0

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  6. Yes it is a big problem. In some “cultures”, women are considered property of men, second class citizens. Those men simply do not comprehend no, and take it as a challenge to “win you over” with unwanted attention and advances.
    Right now in europe, with the migrant invasion of refugees overwhelming western countries, rape parties are prevalent. These young men are angry, violent, do not respect women or customs of their host countries. It’s a real pity, but they’re coming from a different mindset of how they perceive women… and they won’t take NO for an answer. It is a very big problem (their mindset, not their penis).

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    • It is a big problem. And I think (can’t ever really be sure) but many of the offenders are from various other countries. But it happens so often here as well. It shouldn’t happen anywhere. Several other countries have a very long way to go when it comes to respecting women.

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    • quit pussy footing with it 1EU. Come out and say it. She befriended some Muslim man on Facebook and he acted like the typical slime that they are. This is why i refuse to deal with them. They behave like animals in our culture and take advantage of women.

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  7. Obviously I don’t like that this happens never the less to you. I applaud and nod with everything you say here. This would have totally freaked me out, and is part reason I’m so careful on FB friend request. I don’t know why as a society we have forgotten our manners on places such as FB and never mind Twitter.

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  10. There’s a saying that I think I saw long ago on a t-shirt: “What part of NO did you not understand?” I agree, and have since somewhere around puberty (not clear how I came to the conclusion, maybe out of shyness?) that if somebody want to see my “naughty bits”, or show me theirs, they will tell me in words, preferably in person, in private, and with mutually interesting plans for the parts in question. On FB, I check the page of anybody sending a friend request unless I already have a pretty good idea what they are about, and if I don’t see some common interests or friends, I don’t respond. So, hurray for you for calling that guy out.

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  11. Wow, glad I haven’t had this! I agree with you – it’s not an overreaction because, whilst it is easy to ignore & block, it doesn’t change that there is something fundamentally wrong & disturbing in the attitude that it is okay and you have the right to do that to someone. It’s aggressive and entitled, and shows no consideration of the other person as an actual person with their own wishes & rights.

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  12. Without question, taking it upon yourself to assume sending inappropriate is acceptable reflects a lack of respect. Most likely, this person is self absorbed and finds a certain sense of power in manipulation and shock value. That being said, I would suggest if that ever happens again, respond with a simple “I’m reporting you to the police as a pedophile because that’s obviously a young child’s penis…”

    All joking aside, I’m sorry that happened — but even more so, I’m glad you did and said something about it. It’s up to us, right now, to set the standard for what our children will inherit.

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  13. These sorts are just pathetic. Just read another post about this from models who then forward these sorts of pics to the guy’s girlfriends/wives or other family members to show what he is up to. Loved that response. I have done the same when I have felt disrespected & harassed by someone who won’t listen to my pleas for respect or decency. I won’t hesitate to call them out to their own communities.

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  14. I’m disgusted by such a blatant lack of respect, and I’m angry that this individual was able to get away with just being shamed and blocked. If this was ‘in person’ then he could be arrested for indecent exposure.

    I’m sad you got triggered but I think you handled it so so well, and I’m proud of you for standing up to him (to all of them) and for writing this post.

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  15. What part of NO can you not hook up, the consonant or the vowel? 😉

    There was pride and joy so you would of been able to dust and do the dishes.

    NO means NO for everything and that boundary is constantly disrespected in cyberspace and the behaviour spills out in to other space.

    Now had it been me and it wouldn’t of been cuz well a penis just isn’t my type, there are a couple dandy little graphics apps out there that are free ware open source. I’d of gone for his face and added the penis to a place where others would think penis is his type.

    I do what I can.

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  19. Why did you consent to establish contact with a male you don’t know? Befriending an unknown male with a Turkish surname, common sense should tell you you are risking trouble. Standard advice, even from Facebook itself, is *DO NOT* confer friend status to total strangers. I’m male, and even so, I never do that. I have 32 contacts in total, people I know in the real world, and that’s it. Requests from accounts with names I have never heard of get promptly deleted.

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    • First I don’t have social media under my real name. Only my author name. My accounts are public because it promotes conversations about mental illness and stigma. That requires me to have conversations with strangers all the time. People desperate for a reason to live.

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  21. What you did was right but maybe this isn’t enough for these kind of people. They don’t care if they get blocked from one account because there are millions of girls out there. They can always head towards another girl. What can be done is complaining against them in Cyber Cell. These kind learn it hard way.

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  22. He is so desperate. I owned an Hotel based Internet-shop where people used various PC’s to do work, print and search the Net. Basically it was to support the Business Centre and the Hotel had plenty of conferences. Don’t people realise how easy it is to see what sites they accessed on a network? So I scanned who accessed porn and nudity and secretly subscribed them to all kinds of ‘help’-sites for porn addiction and sent the unsuspecting perps a trodan programme that taxed their laptops to slow down to almost freeze up when they accessed porn or nudity. Naughty, I know. What a surprise to see how many women also checked out these sites. I also subscribed them to every possible spamming site who sent them endless junk mail and begged for donations and surveys to complete…I know…naughty…..tut-tut

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  25. Pingback: The 6 essential guidelines on how to act on Social Media – Shining Seeds

  26. Just found this through Sarina’s blog. It pisses me off that this is still happening so damn regularly in 2016. So sad that these creeps have nothing better to do. It’s disrespectful on so many levels. Actually I think it’s more a pathetic cry for attention than anything else. Block and walk away.

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  29. This is so not right! That person is utterly disrespectful! What does he think women are? This is the exact reason why I hate social media, It gives people so much freedom to meddle with our personal lives so easily!😠
    Thanks for getting the topic out here! Great post…🙂

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  30. words fail me 😦
    another great post Hasty, thank you for sharing
    yours sincerely
    A Real Man who will never send you a picture of his junk, not even if you ask, seriously, i’m no David and there is enough scary stuff on the web as is without guys like me getting naked, i mean, for heavens sake fellow Men, what is wrong with you guys, keep the junk in your briefs, if the ladies want pics they will ask and will be the ones doing the photography

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