BECOMING ROBOTS

/ December 4, 2014

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Do you ever feel like you have a million things to say to a hundred different people but you don’t because you are afraid they won’t hear you, they won’t care, they won’t understand?

We are becoming words on a screen… body language is being left out.

I can say I need help but you can’t see the tears in my eyes, or the way my nails dig into my skin, how my smile no longer exists.  You can’t see the way I have locked myself inside my “to do” list to avoid real faces lost inside the light of their phones.  You don’t see the moments I spend on my bathroom floor just crying, you can’t hear my desperation, or the way I pull at my hair.  We are just words on a screen… “I’m fine”

I can say life is beautiful but you can’t see the way my eyes are lit up, the way my smile lives on my face, how my walking pace is just a little bit perkier than yesterday. We are just words on a screen that say, “I’m good’

Our voices are becoming whispers in an ocean of issues continually threatening to drown us all in a big nasty tidal wave.  We are becoming nonexistent, we are becoming robots hardwired to useless information.

The world is a crazy mess of a place and just once I want to wake up in a musical where I am singing!  I want THAT world and I want to sound so brilliant that everyone around me will forget they are lost inside a text message for a few moments and just sing along with me.  I just want to feel present in a world that I would feel passionate enough to sing about.

I want a world that doesn’t come on my phone.  I am tired of living inside the electricity of online media.  I want more than this… we should all want more…
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Somewhere there are shadows that I’ve left

Those moments of blue that faded into black

All dancing in the spaces just beyond; gone

The place where every tear becomes a song

I don’t have time to say what is on my mind

I am racing every second until the day is done

But I care about you, the whole collective you

I care about all the little things that you do

I am too busy though, racing around this clock

On a worn path that hasn’t been paved in awhile

So I won’t tell you today that I need a smile

Or talk about all the things we both find vile

 I’ve forgotten what the sunrise and sunset feel like

I see them paint the sky every morning, every night

But I used to sit with them and feel the earth spin

I used to hear how they sounded, feel them on my skin

Now in order to connect I have to push send

I miss the body language that comes with “I love you”

I miss the times where friendships didn’t feel ghostly

Disembodied loved ones dancing became our poetry

 

 

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19 thoughts on “BECOMING ROBOTS”

  4. Very powerful poetry. Unfortunately true very often, a price we pay for instant gratification. For me though, it keeps me in touch with the world but away from a world full of people I can’t face.
    xxx Massive Hugs xxx

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  5. Yet what of those whose worlds are like mine?
    Whose real role models betrayed and bullied every time
    They could; whose cutting words and harsh rejection
    Left me insecure, feeling undeserving of affection.
    What of those whose worlds are built in words
    Whose voices finally are being heard?
    And what, for those who need this place beyond the screen
    Where suddenly they’re freed to say the things they mean
    And gradually, so slowly they begin to trust
    That perhaps what others say is true – they aren’t just
    Losers, wasted space, ugly, worthless, foul
    But maybe, just maybe there’s a chance somehow
    That some special someone, somewhere could overlook
    The abhorrent way they move; they speak; they look
    And without those physical repellants, find their soul
    And having found it, like it – accept it whole
    Even though the most of it’s a mess
    Without clarity, comprehension or finesse
    But damaged, broken and trying so hard
    To be an acceptable human, having been dealt a card
    Which left them utterly bottom of the heap
    Unwanted, unlovable, and buried deep
    In mounds of other people’s rancid crap
    But thinking that it’s theirs, don’t give it back
    Instead ingesting every poisoned word
    Until shattered, with no resources left to gird
    Against a world so hostile and full of pain
    Tell me – why would we put ourselves out there again?
    But in here – in here it seems so safe and free
    A starting-place for acceptance and unity
    Finally, a place where others might accept
    A person oft-deemed useless and inept
    And maybe, some of them might become friends
    Oh, how could I ever want this onscreen world to end
    Because In Real, the gawky, useless me
    Is all I ever think that others see
    And crippled so, I don’t let others close
    They stay arm’s length away to guard against another dose
    Of endorsement of the views which went before
    But here, you see, I can be so much MORE
    I’m LIKABLE, in part for being unseen
    I learned that, because I’m protected by this screen.

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    • But there is life beyond these screens. We can have it all if we balance it seems. But we hide because we feel less than. Turning to a world that can never give us more than. I want to connect with nature again. To feel the beeze take my breath away, the pavement skin my knees, and the leaves crunch beneath me feet. The screen has devoured me to the point i miss all these things.

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      • No. Not today. Today I want to unplug and stop being such a dick for caring and being surprised when all of a sudden something happens and hurts me. Because whatever sappy crap I spout, actually, you’re right. And In Real is what matters, and I, far away in wherever, don’t. Not really.

        So no. I’ll hide it here and pretend it didn’t happen.

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  6. Beautiful words and a good reminder to enjoy the moment and those around us. All too often, I see people on their cell phones at lunch, in the restaurant, while they are walking, etc., not truly opening their eyes to the people and scenery around them. If we just turned off all electronics for a single day, it would put one in touch with nature and would offer a refreshing perspective =)

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  9. I definitely agree, so much goes unseen. Half of human-communication is through body-language, how the word is even “Spoken” and where the “inflection” is and might be. And it is so easy for those things to go completely awry and be misunderstood in a written context that often times folks will find themselves in Flame Wars they didn’t mean to start, over something silly and minute that gets blown out of proportion.

    But as I read from another reader’s comment, it has also helped empower some folks, give them a voice perhaps they never knew or thought they had. However in doing that, some folks have taken an inch and walked a mile with it and even abused it. It has it’s positive points but definitely also negative.

    I will ALWAYS take a physical, person-to-person, face-to-face with a client or an everyday Jo over someone either hiding behind a screen or just sitting behind it tweeting their life away. 😉

    *Big HUGS!* ❤

    Much love and infinite gratitude

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  11. I can so relate, I just reached out to one of my FB friends (that I do not know outside of the internet today) and was like we have a lot in common and I just realized you’re in my home state so let’s connect in person. I almost didn’t send the message, but I’m glad I did because she was just as excited as me. We exchanged #s and I look forward to meeting her in person. So yes, I feel you. I miss that real connection with new people at times. Thanks for sharing this and I just re-blogged it.

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  13. It’s such irony, to sit here and type this: I need sound. I need voices. I’m tired of feeling things in utter silence, accompanied only by the tapping of these keys.

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