CONFETTI DAYS

/ June 10, 2014

I wrote this post originally in May of 2012.  The memories I had trouble classifying when I wrote this post somehow ended up where they needed to be over time.  I believe emotional wounds are like physical wounds.  If we keep dwelling and fueling our heartache by listening to certain music, looking at certain pictures, or following certain people on social media we are picking at a wound making it hard for time to heal us.  Sometimes we have no other choice but to walk away and start over… completely over.  And then the healing will come.

 

It’s funny isn’t it?  The way things are?  One minute you are having the time of your life and the next reality crushes you into tiny pieces and you’re not fit to walk in the present.  You look over at the person sitting next to you and think I could spend every minute, of every day, of the rest of my life right here in this perfect moment but reality persists in moving us from the past into the future.  Time flies when you least want it to and slows when you need it to hurry up.  Past moments lived once never to be repeated.  For instance, this is a picture of me after playing with my daughter, husband, mother-n-law and a good friend who will be moving away.  Our friend had bought confetti eggs for Easter but we couldn’t use them because our friend, who died a few days later, was in the hospital.  Well, it was time to honor him by chasing each other around the yard cracking eggs on our heads.  You never quite grasp how special a moment is during the moment.  I believe understanding how our memories work is the beginning to understanding what it means to be happy.

The same mind that learns and understands language and math is the same mind that remembers important events well enough to play them back like a movie when we close our eyes.  They are the important bits and pieces we have collected in our living memory box.  I have stuffed my memory box to full-capacity over the past two years and I think it is time I sit down and sort out those memories worth keeping and those I need to let go.  The above memory I will keep in honor of my friend’s life and it will also mark the day I had to say goodbye to his partner who is moving away.

You always hear the phrase, “Let the past stay in the past, move forward never look back.”  Well I always assumed that meant we should let go of the bad things that are better left forgotten.  But I am starting to think some of the good memories should be left in the past as well.  People change and constantly bringing up how they used to be will never allow for positive future change.  This is true for friendships as well as family relationships. For example, my husband and I are notorious for bringing up the fact that one or the other of us has have changed so much.  We say “you’ve changed” as if it’s a bad thing.  Actually it isn’t good or bad it just is.  There are moments and things we loved about each other that are gone and live in the past. They are great memories and that’s where we need to leave them.  We have been together 22 years; do we really want to live with an unchanging partner our whole lives?  We need to remember the great memories fondly and look forward to creating new memories in our ever-changing lives together.

Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.~Buddha

As I was thinking about these things last night I realized taking inventory of our memories, classifying them, and putting them in their rightful spot is an important task often overlooked.  I need to understand that painful memories can be laid to rest.  They can only cause me future pain if I allow them to.  I need to understand that the beautiful memories are there to remind me of how great life is and that there is hope for more beautiful memories to be made!   I will remember the days filled with confetti with joy and hope for more confetti filled days in the future.

It’s being here now that’s important. There’s no past and there’s no future. Time is a very misleading thing. All there is ever, is the now. We can gain experience from the past, but we can’t relive it; and we can hope for the future, but we don’t know if there is one.~  George Harrison

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25 thoughts on “CONFETTI DAYS”

  2. I think that’s a healthy way to view things. Does the picture signal that summer is here in your area of the world?

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  3. “The past isn’t dead and buried, it isn’t even past.” is what William Faulkner said, at least indirectly, about memories.

    John Steinbeck described significant, memorable events in our lives as “posts to drape time on”.

    St. Augustine, in trying to tease out the nature of time and being, observed that every passing moment is an infinity in itself, carrying the memory of all the moments that came before and the anticipation of all those that are yet to be.

    But confetti memories are the best. Nice post.

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  7. How can you forget the past that creep back into the dreams you very seldom remember. I will never forget the death of my wife of 41 years. I believe she is in a far better place. I still feel the love and the love of her mom and my mom. I work at remembering the mistakes I made in life. I do not linger on the pain my mistakes produced. Only never to reproduce it. I do not categorize anything. It is what it is and whoose it away. Keep what puts a smile on my face in remembering the love. Life is a short stay. I wish to make people smile.

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    • You can’t forget them they are like paintings on a wall. Art that was finished long ago. Unfortunately I have a habit of sitting with the pieces I love tremendously, trying earnestly to bring them back to life, and I miss present moments. I have to make a conscious effort to classify each memory as a finished piece of work. I can imagine the beautiful gallery of artwork you have to enjoy that include the loving memories of your wife. Someday, I see you completing more works of art together in that better place!!!!

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    • Yes, you got what I was trying to say. In the hard moments when the future is uncertain the certainty of the past is so appealing it can suck us in, sometimes at great cost.

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  9. A post filled with hope…and lot of meaningful thoughts. 🙂 Made me smile, think and go through some memories I had tucked away deep within. I still haven’t mastered the art of letting go of the past; I’m trying though. 🙂

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  10. Wow…. this was…… AMAZING!!!! So much hope and strength is seen throughout!!! Thank you for sharing your thoughts……made me think about the past memories that *I* need to let go of…….. ❤

    😉
    ~Poe

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  12. I couldn’t agree more. I’ve laid several demons to rest. I can now access the joyful times without them crashing through. It takes time though, and you have to be willing to let them leave.

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  13. Such a wise post Hasty. Definitely food for thought. Change is both necessary and crucial to becoming a better person. I just wish letting go of some of the past (both good and bad) was as easy to do as it is to say you will do. Thanks for this post friend. Hope you are doing well in the “NOW” and the future holds many happy things in store.

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  14. Do we let go of memories? I think it is physically impossible to do so. Letting go of memories is more of re-classifying those memories as important or not. The emotional attachment to them dictates how important they are or what significance they may have in our lives. I remember a girlfriend from high school and my first kiss or my first love. What significance plays in my life? I don’t know but it’s there. I believe we let go of feelings associated with memories by changing how we view that memory. Like a movie we watch for a second time evokes different feelings, memories brought forth time after time may evoke different feelings as well.

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